Category: Mocking Furriners

Other Priorities

Crime, Gypsies Tramps & Thieves, Mocking Furriners

I spoke of Victoria Coren a little while back, and now it’s time to call on her brother Giles, albeit for different reasons:

Giles Coren exploded with rage on social media this morning as he revealed thieves pinched his £65,000 eco-Jaguar for the second time in just three months.
The TV presenter, 51, turned detective back in April after his beloved car was stolen but police told him they didn’t have the ‘manpower to investigate’.

Of course they don’t.  Perhaps it’s because if you go on Twatter and call a footballer a nigger, the response will be dramatic, and immediate.  But to continue:

In an incredible thread, [Coren] posted pictures of his journey in tracking down the Jaguar I-Pace, which he eventually found in Highgate, north London, telling followers he ‘got his electric kitty cat back’.

Didn’t help much.  After spending a small fortune to re-key his car and change all its “anti-theft” doodads, the car was stolen again, leaving Coren in an incandescent rage.

In a furious tweet, Mr Coren wrote: ‘They’ve stolen my fucking car AGAIN!!!! Cost me three grand to reset the keys and put in a new tracking system after last time and what good does it do? FUCK ALL.
‘If you see a black Jaguar iPace reg ending JVN could you tell me? I’ll give you a million pounds.’

Giles, ol’ buddy:  if you’re going to drop a million bucks, you should rather move out of London, to a more law-abiding place like say, Reading.

I’ll give him the last word, though:

The food critic began: ‘Last night the cunts stole my new Jaguar I-Pace. So Fuck them, fuck the environment and fuck any sort of giving a shit about cars.
‘I’m buying a six year old diesel fucking Skoda and everyone can just fuck off.’

Note to the Greens:  when you’ve lost the food critics… after all, this electric car thing will soon lose its allure for other reasons.

Gapping It

Gratuitous Chick Pics, Mocking Furriners

Back in the late 1960s and early 70s, it became apparent that Rhodesia was going to fall and become just the latest African shithole (now known as Zimbabwe).  As a result, there was a veritable flood of White Rhodesians over the Limpopo River into what was still a prosperous South Africa.  With their typical mordant wit, Rhodesians called this exodus “taking the gap”, and abbreviated it into the simpler verb “gapping”.

Of course, this was only a short-term solution, because as one wag of my acquaintance put it:  “Where are you Whities going to go next?  The Atlantic Ocean’s deep, you know?”

One of those who foresaw the inevitable Zimbabwe-fication of South Africa was Your Humble Narrator, who had inherited his longtime family tradition of cowardice (see:  fleeing France for the Dutch Cape to escape the persecution of the Huguenots), and thus took his own gap to these United States in the Great Wetback Episode of 1986, deep Atlantic Ocean notwithstanding.  And so did quite a few others, Longtime Friend Trevor actually beating me here by a few months.

Since the Mandela Honeymoon, South Africa has of course continued its own steep plummet into Darkest Africa, and the flood of Gappers has increased, not just to the U.S. but also to Canuckistan, Oz and even to Britishland (for those fortunate enough to have British passports).

I told you all that simply so that I could show you the latest Gappers, who happen to be the twin nieces of the late Princess Diana, and who grew up in Cape Town.  Ladies Amelia and Eliza have landed in London for good (Brit citizens, natch), and I’m fairly sure they’re going to do well, having been blessed with good looks, excellent dentistry, breeding and no small amount of Spencer cash.

Of course, if they follow what seems to be the new norm in upper Brit society, they’ll no doubt soon be enamored of the usual crowd of tattooed rappers and malcontent European footballers of questionable descent.

Call me cynical, or realistic.

Unexpectedly

Health, Mocking Furriners

Chatting to my Oz son-in-law over the weekend, he informed us that New South Wales has gone into a two-week lockdown because (I think) one limo driver had the Indian (“Delta”) version of the WuFlu and now everybody’s getting it.

From what I can see, the OzGov’s policy is:  EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!

Over Here. of course, the WuFlu caused the Perpetually Fearful to praise Oz’s harsh lockdown state-by-state policies last year, which policies might have made sense if only they had been followed up by a massive inoculation / vaccination drive as happened both Over Here and Over There (UK).

For no apparent reason, the OzGov never did any such thing — even though with a population numbering in the single-digit millions (or less) in most states, it should have been an easy, slam-dunk job.  But inexplicably, that never happened, so now they’re faced with a largely-unvaccinated population, no herd immunity and all the consequences that flow from that incompetence.  Hence the frantic rush now.

I invite my Oz Readers to correct my opinion on this issue, of course, but I think I have it mostly correct.

One More Reason Not To

Mocking Furriners, Travels

Let’s just go through the catalogue of ways to die in Australia:

  • dingoes which eat babies
  • brown snakes
  • funnel-web spiders
  • sharks
  • saltwater crocodiles
  • Sydney traffic
  • unchecked, uncontrollable bush fires
  • box jellyfish
  • blue-ringed octopus
  • its cousin, the blue-lined octopus
  • stonefish
  • Australian paralysis tick
  • and so many more

Now we can add mouse plagues to this list:

At night, the floors of sheds vanish beneath carpets of scampering mice. Ceilings come alive with the sounds of scratching. One family blamed mice chewing electrical wires for their house burning down.
Vast tracts of land in Australia’s New South Wales state are being threatened by a mouse plague that the state government describes as “absolutely unprecedented.” Just how many millions of rodents have infested the agricultural plains across the state is guesswork.
The plague is a cruel blow to farmers in Australia´s most populous state who have been battered by fires, floods and pandemic disruptions in recent years, only to face the new scourge of the introduced house mouse.

And of course, plagues of mice sometimes result in follow-up plagues of… you guessed it, snakes, which treat this as some kind of Roman orgy of gluttony, and not only gorge themselves but create still more snakes to take advantage of the bounty.

Predictably, this mouse plague is being met with customary Aussie ingenuity and just as predictably, activities like this are being greeted with horror by the Usual Suspects (almost all of whom, of course, live in areas untouched by the mouse plague):

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) on Tuesday pleaded with farmers not to kill ‘curious animals’ that are ‘just looking for food to survive’.
‘They shouldn’t be robbed of that right because of the dangerous notion of human supremacy,’ PETA spokeswoman Aleesha Naxakis said.

“Human supremacy”, eh?  We should also drop this bunch of rodents into drowning pits and fire barrels.

As a lad, I used to enjoy hunting for mice in the fields nearby our house, armed with my trusty Diana air rifle, but I think my best day only yielded a dozen or so.  This Oz thing is something else altogether.

Amazing Coincidence

Good Stuff, Mocking Furriners, Muzzies

First, Iran’s largest ship mysteriously catches fire and is destroyed, and then a large oil refinery near Teheran mysteriously catches fire.

[T]he head of the company in charge of the refinery reportedly told Iranian state TV the possibility of sabotage had been ruled out.

He put it down to a “technical” issue. No doubt, the same technical issue which blew up their frigate.  And yeah, rather admit to a technical issue than saying it was sabotage.

If I were a paranoid Iranian mullah, however, I’d suspect that the Izzies have been up to their old tricks.

We’ll know that’s the case when President Braindead or his lickspittle State Department condemns the “accidents” for no apparent reason.

“If It Means Saving Lives…”

Gummint, Mocking Furriners

Where have we heard this before?  O, Canada.  Unsurprisingly, this is Ontario (motto:  We’re more socialist than New York), where the forces of police power are rapidly becoming unlimited.

As an aside — and I admit that it’s been years since I was last in Ontario — I’m pretty sure that the above Gestapo attitudes will work in places like Toronto (a.k.a. Woke City, CN).  But Ontario is a really big state, and I would be really interested to see what happens oh, about a hundred miles north of Toronto, when the Sturmtruppen  start playing their little reindeer games.  (Warning:  link can cause extreme rage.)

Or have all Canadians become so cowed by Government?