Bad News – Page 79 – Splendid Isolation

Unworthy

December 5, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

Okay, okay, okay… sheesh, gimme just a moment to find that pic of a naked Salma Hayek shooting a Colt 1911 at the New York Times editorial committee from the window of a Ferrari 599, willya?

I know it’s around someplace…

News Roundup

December 3, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

Some with missing links, to preserve my Readers’ sanity.

…what the hell: Iran, Syria, Russia, China and Libya are already in that poxy organization, so what’s one more set of scumbags? And in that vein:

…I’ve often had the same urge, only I wouldn’t be pointing the gun at myself.

And speaking of idiots pointing guns:

…yeah, the old “the gun went off all by itself” excuse. Uh huh.

However:

…how about “fucking awesome”? “Not enough” would get my vote, though.

…prolly the same percentage who supported Hitler’s Anschluss back in the 1930s.

…pot calling kettle; come in, kettle.

…stick to talking about the economy, Jimbo; you’ve been living in NYFC for too long.

And a feel-good story, for a change:

…and it still wouldn’t start on the first couple attempts.

…or, to restate the thing: men who use e-cigs are twice as likely to use Viagra. Isn’t modern life wonderful?

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

…happens all the time.

Here are a few sofas with babes, and some theme music while you’re looking:

Kate Walsh

Helena Bonham Carter

Some Italian chick

Mariska Hargitay

Lisa Edelstein

Claire Goose

Olivia Munn

Penny Lancaster

Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Not sure “Oh, baby!” is the proper thing to say, but if any of them is ever offered on Craigslist…

News Roundup

December 1, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News, Third World

With commentary so pungent, your nose will burn worse than Madonna’s hoo-hah.

…in case they die before they can be killed?

…and a quick glance at the student orgs involved will tell you all you need to know.

…said snow being the “thing of the past” as prophesied by some asshole or other.

…executive summary being:
1) keep drinking;
2) strongly think about vaxxing if you haven’t;
3) Boris Johnson is a dickhead.

…either somebody is lying, or else just stopped lying.

…so, not a red cent in their red kettles then. Hope it was worth it.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept.:

…stop that giggling, it’s a tragic — hahahahahahah.

…being Clarkson, his first ad line was rejected: “If you’re an alcoholic, don’t fight it, feed it”, and was replaced by “It’s really fucking good”

…and good for them, say I. Not all restaurants need be “family-friendly”, and I wish there were more of them.

…and just like that, the entire career of actor Peter Sellers vanished.

Now, INSIGNIFICA:

…and speaking of pointless Brit TV shows, here’s someone from the celebrity dancing thing, the wonderfully-named Nadia Bychkova:

I know: small boobs, long legs. She’s a professional dancer, FFS.

News Roundup

November 26, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

Even worse than usual, these news snippets.

…gosh, and to think that only 18 months ago the U.S. was totally energy-independent. What could have happened since then?

And in related news:

…given the serious competition from Kamala, AOC, Tlaib, Schumer, etc., it’s more like a necklace of albatrosses.

…because he wrote that racist “Declaration” thing, no doubt. Oh. wait…
Daneek Miller (D-Queens) said he wanted the statue gone because it doesn’t represent contemporary values.
…and NOW you can start oiling the ropes.

…some? Res ipse loquitur.

…yeah, we’ll get right onto that. And on the same topic:

…gosh, why ever would that be? Oh, wait:

…that’s why.

…you lost, get over it, STFU and enjoy the fruits of Western civilization.

…maybe not in your house, fuckwit, but everywhere else in Real America…

…and we’re going to do just the same here. Viva Chile! Let’s Go Brandon!

…it started going downhill when to save money, UK doctors were encouraged to “consult horoscopes” instead of using actual medicine.

…once more, with feeling: Rope. Tree. District Attorney. (Some assembly required.)

…and your point?

…ummm because he is?

…I would have thought you could just use fish oil instead of cologne, but what do I know?

And for INSIGNIFICA:

…which makes the rather surprising implication that only Black people loot.

And:

…it also being a crime for Black people to call each other “dumb-ass nigger”, and London’s Cockneys may not refer to people from Newcastle as “fucking Geordies”.

Here are a sample few of the aforementioned Geordies.

Donna Air

Jill Halfpenny

Shivaani Ghai

Andrea Riseborough

Cheryl Cole

Of course, they don’t all look like that, but I wanted to spare you the projectile vomiting.

No? Okay, then… say hello to the Geordie Shore girls.

News Roundup

November 22, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

Bringing you the usual mix of pointless, stupid and crappy stuff. Also the sorta-news.

…key word: India.

…the difficult part is not involving Hillary Clinton in the process, because no one will believe a Kamala Harris suicide.

…just wait till they actually get to see some.

…

…Rope. Tree. Nadler. Some assembly required.

…not nice to refer to our beloved FBI as “tools”, but here we are.

And a few headlines from the department of :

…not to mention that it makes them think of eeeevil guns.

…all the hundreds of Nazi-loving actors who ever played Hitler could not be reached for comment. Best part: Mirren is a howling Lefty.

…good. Let’s go back to calling them perverts. sickos and Clintons.

…how about:

…too strong?

And in an unusual display of common sense:

…next on the list: Afghans, now that the Great Satan is no longer in their country and peace has been restored.

…what he said.

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

…actually, there’s no “could” about it. As the holder of a foreign title, Markle is Constitutionally prevented from being President. LOL.

Finally, from a hardworking wife and mother:

…and because:

…here ya go:

Hey, for a quarter-million bucks a year, I’m just surprised there aren’t more of them. Or maybe there are, but how would I know? (I feel a spin-off post coming…)