Category: Bad News

None of the news that’s fit to print.

…welcome to our world, Limey bastards.

…pretty much the same as you’d get if your taxes were super low, only you’d have more money in your pocket.

…so in other words:  it’s just like influenza and the common cold, is it?

…I have an abiding wish that we were actually as bad as they say we are.  Wouldn’t we have fun?  Instead, we’re law-abiding, vote and have jobs, which prevent us all from cutting their throats.

…so theft is okay, as long as only a few people are affected?  Got it.

…it’s called the “grasping at straws” tactic.

…couldn’t happen to a nicer Socialist.

…he could pick the Tooth Fairy as his AG:  still not gonna happen.

…could we import a few of these judges into the U.S.?  They have a better idea of freedom than most of ours.  And they speak Spanish, and everything.

…Mommy, why were all the boys following me around the playground?

…it’s a strange way to say, “I haven’t had a man inside me for six months and I’m starting to ache”, but whatever.

…somebody remind me of all those arguments against the death penalty.

And just to show that it’s not all bad news:

No need to thank me, it’s all part of the service etc. etc.

Here We Go Again, with acerbic commentary that will make your lips scrunch up like Nancy Pelosi eating a lemon.

…turned right instead of left at Damascus, and there he was.

…I think this is the first SC judge I’ve may actually have fallen in love with.

…ummm no, actual structural racism was in one of your nation’s former colonies, Ginger — that being South Africa — and it was called apartheid.  Everything else is just a pale shadow.

…the only news in this is that the dad was arrested.  Apparently the Australian rozzers want to keep all the paedo-punching for themselves.

…and note how the headline puts “de-arrest” in quotes, but not around “woman”.  And speaking of weirdos:

…yup.  Hoofbeats are definitely getting louder.

…a Democrat lying about gun control?  In other news, polar bears eat seals, sun rises in east, etc.

…“pure evil”?  I can think of better examples, quite frankly.  And if “rape” is defined as “sexual intercourse without consent”, how can this be called rape?  Asking for a friend.

…not reported:  whether any pins were involved.  (Yeah, he was a sperm donor.)

…I think I may have responded “Oh God, yes” to this one.

And finally:

Mrs. Crouch shows off her nipples.  Not that this is news, or anything, but it was a slow weekend.