Category: Bad News

News delivered with the maximum snark.

…and in what format, I wonder?

…oh, THAT kind of “meeting”.  Figures.

…oh Ah don’t thank so, Scooter.  Try this:

…LMAO.  Prolly Russians or White supremacists throwing all that money at them.

…LOL rock, meet hard place;  or, when faced with the consequences of stupid policy, change the terminology.

…big of them.  Totalitarian assholes.

…to match the one Georgetown already has for their faculty, no doubt.

…the Bradford cops having solved ALL other terrible crimes in their area.

…which will probably be as effective as all his other initiatives.  Can you spell “FAIL“, children?

And now comes the time for INSIGNIFICA:

  *    

And here’s someone few men would get a second job to escape from, under the same circumstances:

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*may have been edited for space reasons

News so gloomy, you’re going to need (another) G&T.

…just wait till they try this in the men’s jail.

…in a couple of centuries’ time, they’ll probably pardon all those pedophile priests.

…never thought I’d call the time of syphilis and gonorrhea “the good old days”.

…and in the background, the shuttered nuclear power stations are chuckling.

…the ten million men similarly affected?  Fuck ’em, they should know better.

…and is promptly arrested for promoting animal abuse.

…

…or, the annual income from just two slot machines.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

   

…proving once again that Brits are undersexed.

…and this is bad news because the scumbag survived, even though shot six times by Our Hero.  Prolly used a Glock 9mm.

And now comes the INSIGNIFICA:

   

And speaking of women who could fake their orgasms and nobody would care:

 

And that’s today’s (and yesterday’s, and the day before’s, etc.) news.

News so horrible, you’ll need a barf bag.  Don’t believe me?

  and:  

…let the public floggings begin.

…at some point, people just get sick of petty-minded officialdom, don’t they?

…good for you, Mum.  If only there were another 100,000 like you…

…and quite rightly so.

…and I’ll take “Republican members of Congress” for $400, Alex.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

       

…I’m fine with that, but only if we substitute “college professors” for “anti-maskers”.

In other news:

 
…yeah, that’s going to work out well.  Still, better in Massachusetts than in Texas.

…why is this chubby little fuck not yet swinging from a rope for treason?  And speaking of which:

…unfortunately, it’s just his portrait.

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

 

Train Smash Update:

…and from the article:  

Finally, this (with sincere apologies):

…one has to wonder exactly how less-thin she was before.

Here’s an antidote to the above:

All the news that’s fit to mock:

…I was going to say something about Commie governments always giving it to you in the ass, but then I remembered that I have an appointment with my tax advisor next week.

…thirty grand for a seat?

…the actual headline has been edited for clarity.

…asshole killed over six dozen people, and he’s up for parole?

…oh, that climate change:  is there anything it can’t do?

…you whiners wanted equality, you got it.  Sucks, dunnit?

…given how all corporations are so woke these days, it won’t change a thing.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

Dispatches from the Homo Wars:

…their property, theirs to decide how to dispose of it.  Imagine doing the same with Muslims…

…Caitlyn Jenner and Eddie Izzard were unavailable for comment.

…clearly, some people are unaware of the meaning of the term “the late”.

And now, INSIGNIFICA:
    (no problem, toots) 

…live by the mamba, die by the mamba.

…always call ahead [sic].

And speaking of sex-crazed parents, here’s self-confessed sex maniac Amanda Holden (50):

 

All the news that’s fit to mock.

…violence against men, however, is quite socially acceptable.

…having raised toddlers myself, I want to hear Mom’s side of the story first before passing judgment.

Train Smash Update:

…and the hits just keep on coming.

…suggested new name:  West Washington Huns.

…hey, look on the bright side:  he could have been watching CNN.

…Great Midas’s bleeding hemorrhoids, they’re not competent at anything, let alone spending money.

…women only hate getting a “facial” for the delivery process.

…they’re refusing to lose their income stream from selling permits.

…me, too.  Overwrought, pretentious and cheesy, and let’s not even talk about the music.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

…I must admit that after hearing it several times a day, “Why is Walt Disney World so fucking expensive?” must get quite tiresome.

And now comes the time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

I’ve just figured out a retirement plan:  run for TexGov as a centrist Democrat, raise millions, and when I lose bigly, retire to a farm somewhere in the boonies to live off the remainder of my campaign funds.

Time for the mandatory street totty pics:

 

 

More news:  some good, some insignificant, and most of it terrible as always.

…I said there was some good news.  And even more:

…which can only improve their prospects.  And:

…even better.

…all good advice, although it should have been given over the little shit’s twitching corpse.

…explain to me again the wonders of self-driving cars?

…the way I feel about Washington DC right now, I have mixed feelings about this.

…excuse me while I go off to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s shocked face.

…quite right:  he should have been doused with gasoline and set on fire.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

     

And from the Middle East:

…one fish two fish, red fish Jew fish?

…be a billionaire who can afford to tell them all to fuck off?

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

     

…surely this isn’t news anymore?   Oh wait;  it’s a family pic:

And speaking of leg-spreading exercises:

…and as

…heeeere’s Nicola: