Category: Bad News

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And some things guaranteed to give you the runs:

…not that Virgin has ever shown any sign of class, ever.

…

...which is classic Marxist doctrine, for those unfamiliar with it.  Not that I ever expected anything different from these Commies.

…LOL if it did, I’d consider carrying a 9mm handgun.  But it doesn’t.

…the people who used the guns to commit murder, however, have no doubt been released from jail on parole.

…not one of which would have stopped, or will ever stop, a mass shooting.

…throw in the West Coast with another two, and you’ve got a deal.  Bonus if you trigger the Big One.

…that’s one way of getting rid of the town’s parking problems, I suppose.

…roll on November 2022/2024, and we will.

Speaking of college:

…key phrase:  “The school is a Catholic, all-male, college preparatory school.”

And on to link-free INSIGNIFICA:

   

…it’s been a while, but I don’t remember the Grand Canyon looking anything like this:

And by the way, the chick’s boyfriend is a total asshole.

Finally, a quick quiz:  Spot The Mom

And that’s it, for the news.

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And we begin the Roundup on a parallel topic…

…more likely it’ll end breakfast through mass vomiting at the table.

…so:  no harm, no foul then.

…ummm I hate to break it to you, kids, but Barbie never had a ‘gina anyway.

…lose your own armed bodyguards first, fatso, and then we’ll talk. (no link because duh)

…as long as we raise the voting age back to 21 as well, seeing as kids can’t be trusted to be responsible.  (no link because ditto)

From the Dept. of Irony:

…so much for that DIY book.

From the Dept. Of Useless Police:

…and even though he lives on the same street as she does, the cops will do nothing.

…kinda like getting marriage counseling from a Catholic priest, innit?

From the Dept. Of Suckage:

…and yet, Bette Midler is still alive.

…“Who the fuck are you?” was clearly not the pillow talk she expected.

And in blessedly link-free INSIGNIFICA:

       

And finally:  because it’s a short work week, I thought I’d celebrate with a few random pieces of smut lying around the place.  Call it a spring clean.

Thank gawd it’s Tuesday.

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…hope it hurts the woke bastards, with their unisex changing rooms and their “diversity”-loving store displays.

Dept. Of Unsurprising Consequences:

…or, put another way:  Homo Fest Causes Pox Outbreak.  Of course, some people are going to have a problem with that.

…key words:  Newark Airport, New Jersey.

…sod off, Swampy.

…ask me again why I was always packing when I did the Uber thing… but key word: Manchester.

…I’m just mortified that we weren’t the first to do so.

…in which we welcome the latest entrant to the conservatives’ “You Have One Bullet” game, where he joins such luminaries as George Soros, Hillary Clinton and Bill Gates.

…wrong Markle.

…sheesh, when even old, fat, White homos are at risk…

…key words:  San Francisco.

And in the INSIGNIFICA (what one Reader has dubbed the “Who gives a fuck?” ) section:

…i.e. the struggle that women have somehow managed to handle quite well for over ten thousand years.

…

And finally:

…spoiler:  they’re all-natural.

Not just that:  Paige also picked the eventual winner Justin Thomas to win the 2022 PGA Championship.

And that’s all the news worth looking at.

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And now for a gay old time:

…oh, yeah, baby.  This was said like it’s some kind of problem.  Predictably, some assholes have a problem with this:

…oh yes, we are.  Not like anyone cares what some NYC media hustler thinks.  These guys don’t, anyway:

…and why?  Because not ONE of the gun control bills suggested so far would have prevented either the Buffalo- or Laguna Beach shootings.  And speaking of liars:

…you had me at “Biden lied”.

…yup, because in the history of the whole world, only Black people have ever been fat.

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

…can you spell “box office disaster”, children?  Of course you can.  Seems like they didn’t learn from these guys:

…and did they go woke, children?  Of course they did.

From the Dept. of POLITICKS:

…key word:  Oregon.  And speaking of the Far-Left:

Australia Elects Ultra-Green Asshole As Prime Minister
…yeah, this is going to end well.

…but that’s not a terrorist threat, of course, so *crickets* from the DoJ/DHS.

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and here’s the unlucky Rhian:

…struggling to walk:

And that’s all the news that’s fit to watch.

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And in other news that leaves a bad taste in your mouth:

…

…maybe if you hadn’t invaded Ukraine…?

…hands up those who’d prefer to see Sweden and Finland in NATO instead of Turkey — hmmm… all of you, huh?

…the competition to see how many tampons someone can fit into their mouth will begin in 3…2…1…

…as I told the officer during the Girl Scout Incident Of 1989.

…there are so many reasons not to order a Diet Coke at any time, e.g. it tastes like shit, makes you thirstier and has as much effect on your weight as a Classic Coke — so its extra fizziness is just a bonus.

Great Moments In Medicine:

…or as we call it in Murka, a “Clinton Suicide”.

…thus proving that shit movies can be bad for your health.

…or, more succinctly:  Get Woke, Get Fucked.

…in order of importance:  dogs, chocolate, heat-sensitive explosive devices, soft plastic items, babies.

And in no-link INSIGNIFICA:

 

Finally:

…I report, you decide: 

  

And that, as they say in the Anglosphere, is the news.