Category: Bad News

And talking about giving the finger:

...let NYFC sink.

...they hate us, we move, Q.E.D.

From the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© front:

  and:
...make ’em starve, guys:  join the Frogs and Krauts, make your own European Union.  Also:

...some would call it prudence, others would call it hypocrisy.  I report, you decide.

On the Police Blotter:

...wait [putting on Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face]:  you mean criminals don’t obey gun-prohibition laws? 

And speaking of gun laws:

...git ‘er done, cher.

...that’s not really breaking news, is it?  We’ve been doing that anyway, since Trump was still only a millionaire.

In the Dept. of Vanishing Things:

...wait:  could this crisis be from vegans becoming a dying breed?  One can only hope.

And in International News:

...and as plans go, this sounds like a good one.

...lemme guess:  for boys, Mohammed, Piotr and Jetmir;  for girls, Ngxoza, Jasmin and Agnieszka.

...presenting Dr. Kim’s Patented Anti-Seagull Devi©e:

And now ’tis time for link-free 

...and how many men would take the risk?

...not, mind you, that I think she said (or says) it that often, the Welsh tart.  But anyway:

And one from days of yore:

And that’s it for the news.

...in those halcyon days before the Safety Nazis took over.

Let’s kick off with some Crime News:

...in which we play “guess the race of the bad guy”.

...nothing to do with all the rampant theft and looting, of course, it’s just pure racism in action.  Bonus:  guess in whose electoral district this is happening?

...good grief, why didn’t we think of that before? I bet his law prof is so proud of him.

...can somebody ‘splain to me why we shouldn’t inflict some cruel and unusual punishment on his murderous ass… oh yeah, that Constitution thing.  Damn.

And in the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

...I’d show some sympathy, but it’s NYFC.

...on the bright side, they might have done this to a Texan.
#ThanksTexGovAbbott

...sheesh, where do they think they are:  Minneapolis?

...”racists” being just about every Irishman not in government.

In Medical News:

… And also:

...and when you’ve lost Stephen Fry, you’ve pretty much lost the war.

And now, some Supernatural Sex News:

...just kidding:  they really are fucking crazy [sic].  Pity the poor ghosts.  And speaking of the insane:

...I’m just amazed that people are crazy enough to give money to FJB at all.  On the other hand, it’s his last chance to have some cash lying around when his ass leaves the White House.

In this Friday’s (link-free) 

      

And in Sorta-ShowBiz News:

...frankly, I’ve seen curvier ironing-boards.  But hey, judge for yourself:

…”stunning”?  STUNNING?

Now here’s stunning:

...take it away, chica:

And on that truly stunning note, we end the news roundup.

And speaking of friends not worth Smirnoff:

...just for kicks, we need a couple of Christian families to ask for an opt-out too, based on… ummmm I think it’s called… equal protection?

...like ordinary old headaches weren’t enough?

...at the moment, the ANC government is too busy offering support to Hamas to worry about the White Man’s Magic.

And speaking of the latter:

…1.) I don’t think that many Pals live in Gaza in total, and even if there are, 2.)
#Don’tCare #TheyStartedIt #Fuckem.

And the Great Cultural Assimilation Project News:

...there should be a LOT more of this.  (Not the slashy-slashy, the shooty-shooty.)

...could somebody pass the news on to this asshole?

And speaking of “shocking”:

...newsflash:  we never are.  Go peddle your panic somewhere else.

...for once, they got it right.  And proud we are of it, too.

...the Catholic church was unavailable for comment.  No doubt they were too busy hosting the funeral of a trannie atheist.

...her half-dozen OnlyFans subscribers must be distraught.  A quick reminder of whom we speak:

No man should;  but at least one man apparently has, as she recently popped a sprog:

…to prevent mass vomiting.

And speaking of the unspeakable:

...I had no idea that Pedo / Paedo World even had a hierarchy.  So what’s Joe Biden’s title, then?

And in the Travel Department:

...don’t go to:  1) Monaco, 2) London or 3) New York City.  Ask me how I know this.

And in today’s

  

...I imagine that the Hotness Competition among female firefighters is not that strong, but lessee anyway:

I guess her background as a porn actress has helped her in her new career.

And that’s the news.

(“This [mother] drinks it, that one doesn’t.”  So much for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.)

And speaking of French wisdom:

...little late to the party, mes amis, but à bas les Vertes!  (Couldn’t have put it better myself.)

Speaking of Greens, and their Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© agenda:

...ah fucking hell, not this old chestnut again.  This was supposed to happen back in 1975, when all the Smart Set was convinced a new Ice Age was upon us.  Now that Covid has failed, Global Warming has morphed into Climate Change and nobody cares about either, here comes the Collapsing Gulf Stream again.  Can I suggest that if it doesn’t collapse next year, all the scientific alarmists be scourged then hanged in the public square?  Show of hands…

And speaking of capital punishment:

...someone tell me why people like this should not be broken on the rack, then beheaded.  I need a good laugh.

Next:  a parent who gets the picture.
...and good for her, say I.  Hope she’s got a gun or two floating around, in case of looters.  But she’s from Utah, so...

...and in other breaking news:  Sherman Sacks Atlanta.

In Sex Wars:

...no.

In Medical News:

...keyword:  Mexico.  Also:  “…all of whom had undergone cosmetic surgery like breast implants or butt lifts”.

In Serious Crime News:

...see, if he’d only stopped at three...

...and given who it was, our Potternerd should be thankful they didn’t shoot him dead on the spot.  Although the shooting should have been confined to the fraidy-cats who called the rozzers on the poor kid.

In the Travel / Entertainment Dept.:

...and here I thought that “themed cocktails” was just another term for hookers in fancy dress.

...wait:  a fireball?  In a water park?  Does not compute.

TAYLOR Swift and Travis Kelce are on course to become
the richest power couple in entertainment
...BFD.  If Taylor Swift married some starving folk singer in Memphis, they’d still be the “richest power couple in entertainment”.

And now for the ever-popular

And to finish this off, a stroll down :

...oh well, I report, you decide:

Incidentally, when did “42” become middle-aged?  Even when I was 29 (and not 69), I thought 40-year-old broads were sexy, not middle-aged.

But we can discuss all that another time, because that’s the end of the news.

And speaking of a better America, let’s go further into the news:

...clearly, the NYPD cops wanted a bigger bribe.

…

…

...”Why women shouldn’t be employed in male prisons:  Reason #1″

...does this mean I won’t get that million-dollar inheritance?

...don’t listen, Don, she’s faking you out.

...substitute “Amazon” and “Record companies” for “Sony”, and you’ll be fine.

...so give back all the fucking money.

...sorry, assholes, but you ain’t no Costco or Sam’s Club.

...hey, if they’re not gonna stand for ours, then we won’t stand for theirs.
#WhitePushback #FuckYouAssholes

...I’d say the pot is calling the kettle black, but that would be rayciss.

...or “best on her knees”, take your pick.

And now for

   

And finally:

...aaahh Kelly me old darling, how we’ve missed you on these pages.

 

 

And now that our cups runneth over, that endeth the news.

Let’s start off with something from the Department of Losers:

...missed seeing him again by thismuch.
#NotNewsJustFunny

...what’s that, Lassie?  Hoofbeats from four horses?  I hear them too.

...quelle horreur.

...quick, sue the mill that made the steel for the gun maker.

...Britcops:  “We would, but then we’d be in more trouble than you are.”

...sadly, no pics of said accident.

Moving away from industrial-grade losers, we go to the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

...eh, boys will be boys. [/Eytie cops]

From the Gummint Gazette:

...always wondered why you’d need a college degree just to be rude to customers at the DMV.

...I actually first read that as “House Republicans Shoot Senators”.  Imagine my disappointment at the second reading.

...Das Kapital, p.276.  His idol V.I. Lenin would be so proud of him.

...for “Americans” read “Journalists”.

And just to show that gummint isn’t the only entity capable of complete idiocy, there’s this:

...just another model to sit, forlorn and unwanted, on some dealer’s lot.

And in Evil Satan News:

...we know.  I mean, Nancy Pelosi is still in Congress, and FJ Biden is still in the White House. And don’t get me started on the FBI and DHS...

And your pre-weekend 

And in SHOWBIZ NEWS:

...never watched the show either, but here’s an FYI so everyone else can keep up to date:

And that’s what passes for news.