Author: Kim du Toit

I Had A Dream

3 Inexplicable Things, Gratuitous Gun Pics

…but it wasn’t anything like Martin Luther King’s, or ABBA’s dream, nor about Joe Hill (no link because Commies), and sadly, it wasn’t about Cass Elliott.

No, I dreamed that a wealthy Reader (who looked a lot like Ginger Baker, FFS) offered to buy me three guns, with the caveat that they couldn’t be guns I’d owned before, nor any old guns at all — they could only be new guns.

At least it wasn’t cars, because then I’d have been in real trouble.

Anyway, I woke up without having made any choices, but the dream has kinda stuck with me all day.  And being prevented from getting a gun that I’ve owned before makes the list really short, because… well, you know.

So after some considerable thought, here they are, the top 3 guns I’d like to receive as a gift:

1 – Dan Wesson Valor (.45 ACP)

Some may consider this a cheat (because the 1911 is old, and I’ve owned several in the past);  in my defense, however, I’ve never owned a pocket 1911, nor anything made by Dan Wesson.  But I’d love to, and this one makes my bang-switch-actuator itch.  Badly.

2 – Ruger No. 1-S Medium (9.3x62mm)

Never owned a No. 1, nor any rifle in the venerable 9.3x62mm.  I would even consider going on an(other) African hunt (but with Doc Russia and Mr. Free Market) if I could take one of these.

3 –  A.H. Fox FE 20ga (as made new by Connecticut Shotgun Mfg. Company)

This beauty ticks all the Kim Boxes (side-by-side, double trigger, straight stock, 30″ barrels) and if the Dan Wesson was disqualified because rules, I’d just get a matched pair.  And then I’d head off to join Mr. FM in Dorset later in the year, you betcha…

Anyone else had a dream like this one?

New Devilment

Food & Drink

…I mean development. As though Twinkies were not bad enough, the Hostess Baking Company has launched Bouncers.

“Wait, Kim… you mean like bouncing boobies?”

No.  I mean mini-Twinkies presented in sealed three-packs, but glazed — as though regular Twinkies were not sufficiently enticing.  (They kinda do look like mini-boobies, though.)

Of course, this being a full-service blog, I had to test them (so that my Loyal Readers won’t have to).

Verdict:  more than two (their “suggested servicing size” is three) will leave you “OMG-I’m-gonna-hurl” nauseated.

I had six.  Because Science.

Now THIS Means War

Literature, Two-Minute Hate, Wokism

Okay, now it’s time for the pikes to be sharpened:

The light-hearted escapades of Jeeves and Wooster have become the latest victims of the seemingly relentless march of literature’s word police. 
PG Wodehouse’s books on the pair’s aristocratic misadventures have been identified as having what the publishers describe as ‘unacceptable’ prose. 
The comic novels have had passages cut or reworked for new editions by Penguin Random House, as well as trigger warnings added to warn readers of ‘outdated’ themes.

If any body of literature can be classified as “completely harmless”, that would be the collected works of P.G. Wodehouse, quite possibly the world’s greatest-ever humorist.

In fact, the only group of people who could lay claim to being offended by Wodehouse’s writings would be the British aristocracy, whom P.G. universally skewers on the point of his razor-sharp wit.  And they wouldn’t, because as one toff reportedly said, “Every single character in Wodehouse resembles a member of my family”.

But let us not giggle, because there is serious work to be done…

Bastards.

Gratuitous Gun Pic: Winchester Super X AR 308 (.308 Win)

Gratuitous Gun Pics

When is a Winchester semi-automatic rifle not a Winchester semi-automatic rifle?

When it’s actually a Browning BAR made by FN Herstal — like this one:

Let’s see:  a tried-and-tested semi-auto rifle action, in hunting guise, with a ten-round magazine (two, as advertised), and in a manly chambering* — all for just over a grand?

Oh yes, Kimmy WANTS.

*I took inventory of Ye Olde Ammoe Locquere over the weekend just past, and discovered that I have a little under 500 rounds of .308 Win, but no rifle thus chambered.  Hence my interest in the above.

Vandalism

Anarchist thugs, Eco-Crap

We know that of all the games played in the world, snooker is the worst offender, environmentally-speaking.

Okay, if it isn’t, then how would one explain this activity?

One’s initial reaction to this little silliness, of course, runs to hanging or impalement.  But snooker’s a gentle game, so I think a gentler punishment is called for, something not as extreme.

So if we all agree that flogging is appropriate, then the only remaining question is:

How many strokes? 

Your recommendations in Comments.  I’ll open the bidding at 50.


…and seeing as there are female vandals involved, let’s not forget #MeToo:

It’s only fair and equitable.