I don’t know if liquid cowshit (“slurry”) can be called the right stuff, but when it’s used properly, it sure as hell is. Here’s the executive summary.
Two weekends back was labeled a “heatwave” by Brits (what we here in Texas would refer to as a “nice spring day”). Anyway, the Brits did what they always do when faced with that situation: they got in their cars and headed north to the “country”, specifically in this case to the Lake District. Now, this being Britishland, there wasn’t enough parking to accommodate this flood of cars, so a bunch of these drivers saw an empty field.
Did I mention that there were signs all over the place? Here’s one:
Note the polite request in the lower one.
Needless to say, because most Brits (even the wealthier ones) are at heart a bunch of screaming socialists who think that private property is theft, some people who think that such notices don’t apply to them anyway ignored the prohibition and parked their Mercs, Beemers and Audis in the field.
After years of putting up with tourists leaving their vehicles on his land as soon as the sun comes out, this week sheep farmer Hogg Hodgson finally snapped.
The furious tenant farmer, whose family has run Rydal Farm in the Lake District, for generations, was filmed covering at least 20 vehicles including Mercedes, Jaguars and BMW, in the foul smelling muck.
Today Mr Hodgson said he was ‘no hero’, and explained he felt forced to discharge the tanker of slurry over cars parked on his land to protect his livestock and his land.
He said: ‘I’m not proud of what I did. I didn’t do it for any particular reason other than the way tourists behave. I just get fed up with the way they treat the Lake District. And I am sick of being abused by people when I ask them not to park on our land.’
And O Happy Day, there is pictorial evidence:
Our Hero’s ladywife apparently had this reaction:
…as did I when I first read this story.
And I’m sorry, but if you wouldn’t buy this man a pint at his local pub the next time you’re Over There, then you’re not welcome on this here back porch of mine.
From the comments about the article was this priceless observation:
“Love it… he should, however, have made sure that the car wash was closed for the week-end.”
…and:
“Too bad the local car washes weren’t closed because of water restrictions.”
Years ago, we lived on a corner lot. There was a large strip of lawn between the street and a row of shrubbery and then more lawn. Representatives of a certain religious faction would park on the grass and canvas our neighborhood on foot.
My wife simply turned the sprinkle on and left it running. They never parked there again…
While composted Cow manure is great fertilizer and every livestock farm has easily filled equipment to spread on his fields and they have a basically inexhaustible supply of the stuff, It appears that particular farmer was a sheep farmer. As we also had sheep. I can personally testify that sheep manure is particularly nasty smelling stuff. Way better than cow shit for this application. Those cars are going to need a lot more attention than just a visit to the local Dunk and Bubble.