Not Entitled

Here’s an interesting story:

Anonymous British woman asks if she is being unreasonable to think her partner should be helping her with finances at a time where she is struggling.

In her post, she explained that although she is normally financially stable, she has had a difficult time while waiting to be paid for a job she did a few months ago.  She’s eaten through her savings and is relying on credit cards – all while her partner has just come into a huge sum of money.  After inheriting £500,000, she expected her boyfriend to offer to help with her finances to allow her to afford food.

She explained that they’ve been together for two years and don’t live in the same house, but that he’s told her she’s his ‘life partner’.

Key word here:  “boyfriend”.  He doesn’t owe her anything, although on a personal note, I think he’s being a complete asshole.

Still, he is already supporting his own child (by another woman, ex-wife?), so maybe he’s just being wary — and in these modern times, who can blame him?

I think she should dump his worthless ass out in the street — how much worse can her predicament get if he’s not helping her out anyway?

And we’ve all been there, waiting to get paid while an erstwhile client’s accounting department waits and waits to pay their bills, thinking that this makes them heroes to management.  This bullshit cost me most of my gun collection several years ago, and thank gawd I had the guns to sell because otherwise I’d have been living in my car, assuming I could have kept up the payments on that, too.  (The amounts were significant, by the way:  I had a monthly nut of about $4,500, and this one single account payable was about $27,000;  hence, I think, the client’s shenanigans.  Quick to spend, slow to pay, the bastards.)

All round, it’s a lousy situation.


  1. One client has owed me a paltry $300 since last Aug. All the back n forth communications, the excuses, etc., wears me out. The profit in this transaction has evaporated and I’m going to move on, not let it drag on me any more. Fortunately most clients aren’t like this, maybe 1 in 200 or so. Be nice to be able to spot them in advance, then lay a trap for them.

  2. Just because he’s inherited £500k doesn’t mean he can access it. Estates have to go through probate and that can take months or even years. And maybe that £500k is in the form of a house, in which case it needs to be sold.

  3. Boyfriend. Not husband.

    Not sure about the common law marriage laws over there, but here if he starts helping her then she has evidence that he’s “supporting” her. Then she can claim common law marriage, then lay claim to 50% (or more) of all that he has.

    Sorry, invite her over for dinner. Take her to the pub for lunch. But for pete sake, don’t give her any cash. My sympathy reserve is empty.

  4. I left my home state of Washington about 20 years ago. My departure coincided with the passage of new legislation making ex boyfriends financially responsible for the ex girlfriend’s kids – EVEN WHEN THEY’RE NOT HIS – provided they were together for some statutorily defined period of time.

    1. “Oh, but I “really need” the money, and he enjoyed playing with the kids!”
      Soon after the law passes.
      “Why do men ghost me when they find out I have four kids under age twelve?”

  5. An interconnect company I worked for back in the day had that problem every now and then.

    They handled it pretty well. Usually, if they couldn’t pull a D&B report on the customer, or they were a cold call, it would be COD.

    Later, if we were stiffed, it would be COD plus back owed money. Depending on the system, there were only so many shops in town, and all the owners either knew each other, or were at least acquainted. Word would get around. Then it would be COD.

    I remember going to a system down at a shared office business – you know, where small companies rent space, comes with receptionist and other services. I sat there, fist out, for a check before even bothering with the system (which was horribly out of date). They paid up, I went in, plugged my laptop up, and noticed it was on it’s way back without any help from me. Came up. Did a few checks, declared it fixed, and left.

  6. I worked for a company that wrote their subcontracts of 30 days after being paid by the owner. The problem is that the company never paid anything until it was 120 days overdue. So essentially a subcontractor could put work in place in January, we’d get paid by about 7 February, the sub’s bill was due to be paid 7 March then the subcontractor wouldn’t see payment until 7 July if they were lucky. Many suppliers were treated the same way. They would sell us material if we brought a Purchase Order in, then they went to check only. They finally figured out that if we could get a check issued for new material, then we could also cut a check for older bills and would cut the company off. This might not be so bad until you start running out of suppliers and subcontractors. Utterly dumb way to run a company. So glad I left. It became an embarrassment to work there


  7. This guy might be smarter if he’d distance himself from her. as others have pointed out if she can show that he takes care of her financially then she might be able to sue him for more. Considering how backwards English law has become I believe that the legal system in England would side with her


  8. I’m sure that all the feminists in Britain will be rushing to help this woman out. They’re the ones who told her that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

    But while she waits for them to show up, has she considered getting a job? The article is extremely vague about whether she is currently employed, but since she says she is “waiting to be paid for a job she did a few months ago” and has eaten through her savings, I suspect that she is unemployed. If the economy in Britain is anything like what we have in the U.S., businesses everywhere are understaffed and desperately trying to hire more workers.

    I can sympathize with her situation. A few years ago, I got laid off and couldn’t find a new job in my profession for a period of months. I was also using up my savings, and I didn’t like that. So I got a job delivering takeout food. It didn’t pay all of my bills, but it slowed the rate at which I was depleting my savings a great deal. Eventually, I did find another professional job, but I continued doing the delivery job on weekends so that I could rebuild my emergency fund more quickly.

    The one thing I didn’t do was sit and wait for someone else to bail me out. I knew I was responsible for my own fate.

Comments are closed.