1. Don’t give a shit. What people do in their own bedrooms is no concern of mine.

  2. Require witnesses to your royal marriage’s consummation? Our witnessing chairs will enable them to sit up all night if necessary.
    Only $2,000 ea. with good references.
    We also have a complete package for out of town royalty to rent the whole room for your big night and provide our witnesses for only $8,000. Price includes clean sheets.

  3. Being the consummate baseball fan, Mariam always wanted a righty and a lefty warmed up and available for relief.

  4. Note to attendees: Shackles and restraints are not provided. Please bring your own straps to ensure proper confinement to the chairs.

  5. After the TVs all died, people had to come up with their own entertainment to watch.

  6. The project to convert the screen porch into a guest room is now complete, dear. Turning the twin bed sideways so it looks like a double bed was stroke of genius. Combined with the light from the windows, It pretty much guarantees that even my mother will only stay for one night .

  7. Too late, Bev saw the purpose of the “Supervision” clause that Chris had added to the prenup.

  8. As frequently documented by extremely thorough researchers on this very website, the inevitable downfall of civilization is directly traceable to the over-indulgence in pillowage!

  9. Popular amongst the ‘XXX’ set as seen here in the fully-booked ‘Lancelot’ room at the ‘no-tell’ Camelot Inn, resting emplacements are readily available for the working actors and weary filmographers!


    Oft-requested by knowledgeable cinematographers because of its rich ‘natural light’ from the wrap-around windows, the Lancelot room at the no-tell Camelot Inn is a treasured setting for any ‘up-n-coming’ actress in the ‘adult’ industry… and has absolutely nothing to do with their exhibitionist tendencies!

  10. In this promotional screen-capture from the forthcoming bio-pic ‘!SLATS!’, we see just some of the amazing window ‘treatments’ by renowned ‘room-dresser’ Akmedia ‘Slats’ Abramovich!

    1. Down to a few exclusive choices for the cover of the inaugural edition of ‘S!, the magazine for the discriminating slats aficionado’ is this exquisite shot of the Lancelot room at the Camelot Inn by our very own Akmedia ‘Slats’ Abramowitch (no relation) during a recent one-hour stay!

  11. In today’s Count The Slats contest, first caller with the right numbers wins a one-hour stay in the lovely Lancelot room at our sponsor Camelot Inn!

  12. Well, only seating for two paid observers with a table for their notepads is a bit limiting. Then again, the outside the window crowd could be more substantial. Revenue possibilities are interesting.

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