1. I understand that there’s no one else for 100 yards in any direction and sunlight is the best disinfectant and you’ve been indoors for two months, but the Park is Closed so if you don’t leave I’ll have to arrest you and expose you to the virus at the station house.

  2. You’re violating the stay-at-home orders, please step into the back of my patrol car.

  3. “Listen, love… I know you’ll do anything to stay and catch a few rays; but if I let you do that to me, you’ll definitely be breaking the social-distance rule.”

  4. “Ma’am there’s a law that states you can’t be in the park.”
    “So…Shoot me”

  5. “I know I should be tracking down that serial killer; but this is SERIOUS.”

  6. “I’m sorry love, but yer in a closed park, yer not wearin’ a mask, and until I came along you was topless. Yer definitely contravening a couple of public orders. I’m afraid I’m goin’ to have to take you in. Please come quietly. And don’t bover yerself, I’ve heard every comeback to ‘please come quietly’. There’s a good girl.”

  7. Nice try, Miss. But Solar Radiation Monitor doesn’t appear on my list of essential workers.

  8. I seem to have forgotten my mask at home. Would you PLEASE give me your knickers?

  9. So there once was a sport called baseball. There was a pitcher, catcher, first baseman …

  10. “Miss, I know what the sign outside says, but ‘Fenway Park’ is not that that kind of a park. You can’t sunbathe in right field.”

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