Short takes on Da Nooz:
1) Presidential hopeful Pete Buttplug indicated he is open to the idea of raising the legal age for firearm purchases — Cool. As long as he also supports raising the voting age by the same number.
2) Venezuelan dictator Maduro announced late Monday that he would order “surprise” war games to plan for attacks against the United States on a “permanent” basis — so basically, he’s copying California and D.C., except they’re not playing.
3) Portland Police Bureau are seeking the public’s help in identifying four Antifa members who took part in a recent protest in the city where police officers and civilians were attacked — and a prediction: one day these little fascist fucks are going to threaten or beat the wrong guy, and get shot in the face. On that day, I will publish a report of the incident under “Righteous Shootings”.
4) Paki Rape Gang Sentenced To Jail Terms — instead of being taken out behind the courthouse and shot in the back of the neck, unfortunately.
5) EU Wants To Keep Plundering Britain’s Fishing Waters — OR, the Brits can just send out their new aircraft carrier for “practice war games” and sink every EU ship it comes across. It’s not like the Euros could do anything about it, not one of them having a deepwater navy.
6) Noted Homophobe Trump Appoints Homo As DNI — so much for that little Lefty talking point. (Of course, he’s the wrong kind of homo, being conservative, hence the howls of protest from the Hair On Fire Party.)
7) CanuckiPM Girlyman Has No Clue — no surprises there, especially as he secretly supports their protests.
8) Eating a big breakfast could help you burn double the amount of calories than if you eat a larger meal at dinner — y’all know what to do now, don’tcha?
By the way, if that were true, I’d weigh about 100lbs.