Now that we’ve all somewhat recovered from the gluttony of Thanksgiving and all the leftovers have finally been polished off, I believe it’s safe to approach the topic of food once more.
Some research was done in Britishland to see how its inhabitants view the country’s “traditional” dishes. The foods were ranked on how the respondents placed them on a tier (“God” all the way down to “Crap”). (At this point, my Murkin Readers should refrain from saying “It’s ALL crap” because that would be wrong, and you would be at risk of being labeled “ignorant” by the owner of this here back porch.)
Here are the results:
Now, I have tasted every single dish* in the above, and in fact, I grew up eating a lot of them. Some are not only beloved, but can be regarded as part of the extreme top of Kim’s Food Triangle. (*I have never touched Jellied Eels, whose existence can only be ascribed to Satan’s Work, and the thought of ingesting the slimy shit makes me throw up in my mouth, and not a little either. )
Nevertheless, I beg to differ with many of the rankings, thus:
Some explanation ad comment:
- Crumpets (a.k.a. English muffins) are really just toast, i.e. an accompaniment to a meal. (Crêpes are another matter altogether, but they’re European, not British.)
- Cottage- and shepherd pies taste like bland gray hamburger meat covered with mashed potato. Ugh.
- Steak ‘n kidney pie could easily make my “God” tier, come to think of it, as could bangers ‘n mash.
- Welsh rarebit: chunks of crispy toast in hot beer cheese with fresh tomato pieces… nom nom nom. If I want to lure my kids over for dinner, I only have to say that this will be on the menu.
- All the lower-tier dishes pretty much belong there, and I will only eat them out of politeness to my host.
- I have no idea why sausage rolls weren’t included; in fact their omission makes the entire study even more suspect than it already is.
All the rest should be self-explanatory.
Oh, and by the way: a “ploughman’s lunch” is not as pictured in the chart; made properly, it consists of a cheese roll, an apple and a pint of beer — being what would fit in a farm worker’s lunch bag without falling to pieces and/or messing up the inside of the bag. I don’t know where they got all that other crap, but it’s bullshit.
Here’s my personal Trifecta Of Yummy:
Were it not for the fact that Doctor Killjoy believes that weighing 500 lbs is A Bad Thing, I’d eat that lovely stuff each day forever. With a sausage roll for tea.