Reader Input

I have Teh Competition!  From his well-defended bunker in coastal Florida, Reader Sean F. sends the following:

SEAN’S BILTONG

For the meat, I get a cut called caipirinha – a South American (Brazilian) cut which is actually the top of the rump, with the thick fat attached Top round, etc. is fine, but I like the fat layer, which should be trimmed down to 1/4” for biltong.  (Leave on for roasting.)

Per 1 lb. of raw meat – double or triple, etc.

Cut meat into thumb thickness pieces with grain

Spice mix:

2 tsp. coarse black pepper

3 tbsp. roasted and ground coriander seeds – grind with red pepper flakes to taste

Add to grind powdered garlic and onion 1/2 tsp @

Marinade:

½ c red wine vinegar

¼ c Worcestershire Sauce

Pat the meat dry and rub in ¼ of the spice mix on each side. Add marinade and put in tight Ziploc, overnight in frig. Turn, if you think of it.

Hang to dry.

It takes me 3 days in this hot but air-conditioned climate to get to “wet”.  Leave 5 days for “dry”.


…and he had the temerity to send me a couple of (wet) sample sticks.

Upshot:  New Wife prefers it to mine.  (“More savory, wetter, nice fat sliver.”)  Some Seffrican buddies we shared it with over the weekend also pronounced it excellent.

Action:  Will copy and steal the above recipe, as should everybody.

Verdict:  Business opportunity.

Dim Memories

Here’s a list of steakhouses in the U.S., ranked in reverse order.  (Follow the link to get the music and lyrics, otherwise just skip to the list below.)  I should point out that other than one or two, I haven’t been to any of them in ages (hence the title of this post), so things might have changed since then.

  • Logan’s Roadhouse — never been there
  • Texas Roadhouse — ditto
  • LongHorn Steakhouse — no idea why this is so low on the list;  I’ve been to several, and they were all good
  • Hoss’s Family Steak & Sea — never been there;  “hoss” and “steak” do not belong together, except maybe in La Belle France
  • Outback Steakhouse — not bad, at least the steaks are decent;  and it’s not really Strylian, which is in its favor
  • Saltgrass Steak House — this should be higher on the list;  I’ve been to several all over Texas, and all were excellent
  • Sizzler — are you fucking kidding me?  If this POS is on the list (never mind being so highly ranked), can Waffle House be far behind?
  • Ruth’s Chris Steak House — not bad, but suffers from having the Most Unpronounceable Name Evah
  • Black Angus Steakhouse — never been there
  • Morton’s — never had a bad meal at Morton’s;  it was my go-to place for client lunches and dinners, and should be near the top
  • Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar — also excellent.  We celebrated Doc Russia’s bachelor party there, and even the hard-to-impress Mr. Free Market had a good time
  • Fogo de Chão — I can’t eat there because the prices are too high for my suppressed diet;  would love to try them though
  • The Capital Grille — too fucking spendy, even for client expense-account dining.

Add your thoughts to the list.  Mmmmmm… steak.

Back Then

Wasting time over at C.W.’s place there’s this little bit of nostalgia, with his comment:

Certainly, my Gran’s did, except her tabletop was covered with a single sheet of green linoleum (don’t ask).

Also at C.W.’s:  he’s been on a tear about the wonderful Alfa Romeo Tipo 105 sports cars of the late 1960s and early 70s, like this one:

This might be my favorite model of them all:  the Giulia GT Junior, with Alfa’s extraordinary 1300cc engine which performed completely out of its weight class.

Want.

Finally, and I hesitate to even say this, he has no business posting pictures of terrible things like this on his website:

Doubleplus want.

I’d call that a Texas BLT, but the bread’s a little on the thin side.

Brekkie

Apparently, today is National Cereal Day, and even though said appellation make my nuts start to ache and my trigger finger twitch, it’s a better reason for commemoration than, say, Cesar Chavez Day or Secretaries Day.

Here’s the Britishland hit parade:

If you want my opinion, those choices are far too healthy.  I mean:  Weetabix? [sic]  Ready brek?  (although I have to say that with our kids, Ready Brek was a firm favorite for First Breakfast)  And of Alpen and All Bran, we will not speak.

Here in Murka, the choices are far more (shall we say) kid-friendly:

…although the appearance of Special K (a triumph of marketing over fact) is concerning, even at #9.

I have to confess that I hardly ever eat breakfast cereal anymore, except the (very) occasional bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, which I discovered on my first trip Over Here with Longtime Friend Trevor, and have never lost the taste for it since.

And my special weakness — i.e. as a snack consumed straight from the box — is this one, discovered as a child in Seffrica, and which still captivates me, over half a century later:

Just looking at the pic makes me want to get some — but fortunately (?) there isn’t any of the lovely stuff in the pantry at the moment.  (I try to contain myself to a box every other month, but it’s very difficult…)

I know, I know:  cereal isn’t for grownups.  Mea maxima culpa, but thank goodness I’m not tempted by the really sweet stuff like Froot Loops or Lucky Charms.

But at least when I look at both the above lists, the “nuts-‘n-twigs” type doesn’t feature.

(I noticed that in Germanland, granola is almost the exclusive offering at hotels’ breakfast buffets, which is probably why they lost the war.)

Ugh.  Makes me lose my appetite just looking at them.

Which is probably the whole point.  Damn Birkenstockers.

Worst Packed Lunches

Inspired by this tale of woe, list the 3 worst combinations (main, snack & drink) you could put in your 8-year-old kid’s school lunchbox.  You can select according to taste, nutritional “value” or smell, your choice.

Mine:

  1. Vegan “hamburger” / olives / carton of skim milk
  2. Slim Jim / coconut snowball / lemon Kool-Aid
  3. Canned anchovies / soda crackers / can of club soda

Extra points if you actually have given them to your kids in the past, and my apologies if I’ve made anyone feel ill.

Just As Ordered

Reader Don L. suggests, correctly, that I would enjoy this little snippet:

Of all the things that you think could make you more attractive, what you have for breakfast wouldn’t necessarily be one of them.

But, new research has linked what you tuck into in the morning to how much you’re desired by others.

The small study published in Plos One, looked at the impact on facial attractiveness of eating refined carbohydrates (so-called “bad carbs”) for breakfast compared to eating unrefined carbohydrates (“good carbs”).

Researchers at the University of Montpellier found the amount of carbohydrates someone eats was statistically linked with their facial attractiveness as rated by heterosexual members of the opposite sex.

Well, yes.  I know I’m at my best after one of the above:

This would explain why women throw themselves at me every time I walk out of a Brit restaurant… [eyecross]

Compare and contrast the facial characteristics of some who’s just “enjoyed” a vegan breakfast of whatever it is that vegans eat:

Q.E.D.