5 Worst Things To Hear As You’re Going Under Anesthetic

Ranked in order of horribleness:

  • “I think he’s unconscious… oh what the hell, go ahead and cut.”
  • “Wow… I need to tell my wife to book that Caribbean cruise;  this is gonna take a LOT longer than I thought.”
  • “What’s the world record for stretching an anus?”
  • “Oh boy, a naked unconscious woman on a table… it reminds me so much of high school.”
  • “Wait a minute;  I know we scheduled a tonsillectomy, but it says ‘Gender Reassignment’ on her chart here.”

Your suggestions in Comments.


  1. I picked a lousy day to stop taking my epilepsy medicine.
    Anyone know a good way to quickly come down off an LSD trip?
    Ok…now we just need you to count backward from 100 by the square root of Pi divided by six.
    Oh, I know this guy…his son knocked up my daughter!

  2. True story:
    I was down in Adelaide, SA, AU many years ago lying on the gurney to be wheeled into surgery. The anesthesiologist hooked up the IV line, told me to count backwards from one hundred, then turned and TRIPPED OVER THE F*KING IV LINE. Didn’t pull it out, but it was the start of a comedy of mild errors.

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