Action – Reaction

In response to situations such as this:

Two teenagers have been stabbed to death within days of each other as Britain’s knife crime bloodshed continues.

…a judge in Britishland has come up with a solution:

A judge has called for a drastic rethink on the way we use knives in kitchens in a bid to reduce the number of young men dying on our streets because of knife crime.
And he has come up with an idea for a scheme that could be rolled out across the UK where members of the public could take their kitchen knives to be ‘modified’ and the points ground down into rounded ends.

After all, nobody except a professional chef (trained in its use) has any need for a pointed knife, anyway.

I report, you wet your pants laughing.


  1. Shhhhh, don’t let them know about Phillips Head ‘Assault’ Screw Drivers and all the other sharp pointy things in hardware store because if “Youths” have no sharp, pointy things they will do no harm because it is the weapon that causes the crime not the criminal.

  2. Does the judge know that HomeDepot will sell people a Ryobi electric bench grinder for $50?

    Does the judge know what a bench grinder is?

    The judge is as sharp as my rusted out flat mill bastard.

    Oh well, in case there’s a knife ban or confiscation I’m off to buy the bench grinder, could use one anyway, what with the file being left out in the rain. I’ll also check to make sure my scrap metal rack still has all kinds of flat bar stock.

  3. Entirely unsurprising, considering the Metro police have been showing off their ‘hauls’ of ‘weapons’ on Twitter — at least until the mockery got too heavy.

    Such lethal weapons as side cutters, needlenose pliers, files, and garden shears. Way to go, Britain. Way to go.

  4. Never thought the Monty Python sketch, Self Defense (against a banana), would ever be anything but a laugh. Pointed Sticks will become the new weapon of choice in the UK at this rate.

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