Long Weekend

As we Murkins head into the last long weekend of the summer, I thought it would be appropriate to see how others do long weekends — or specifically, how they do a “Bank Holiday” weekend in Britishland.

Last weekend, in fact, was the hottest such on record in the U.K., so of course the pasty-skinned Brits headed for the beach to get properly burned:

 

Okay,there were some  sorta-worthwhile sights along the way:

 

 

But if stuck in London, there was always the annual Notting Hill Carnival:

 

 

And for the sake of balance, just to prove that I can be inclusive:

Or, if it was too hot in daytime, one could always wait until night time and hit the pubs:

 

 

If I didn’t know better, I’d say this lot were having a pee through the windows:

 

You have to admire their stupidity bravery in balancing precariously (and, one assumes, drunkenly) over those anti-pigeon spikes, though.

But none of that is exclusive to Britishland, really — you could do all that anywhere in the world.  To make the thing British, you’d have to participate in the World Bog Snorkelling Championships, wherein one has to swim through a malodorous boggy trench — and this is what makes it truly  British — in fancy-dress costume:

 

 

Given the choices at the top of this page, I think I’d rather do the Bog thing, dressed as a Viking.

Still, in the same spirit:  enjoy the Labor Day Weekend, folks!

Not Quite The Look

Okay, I saw this pic while scanning the headlines:

 

I’m not going to bother with a link to the article because it isn’t relevant — the guy is semi-famous for being on some soft-core porno reality show in Britishland, ergo  of no interest to me or to my Readers.

But I have to ask:  is wearing what looks like a chick’s sport bra just to show off your flat stomach not the gayest thing since Elton John’s wedding?

Now Where’s That Cap?

Wait a minute… this tool said this in Plano?  Plano, TEXAS?

A former Democratic candidate for local office in Plano, Texas is warning Trump supporters – If he sees anybody wearing MAGA hats in public he’s going to hit them with a profanity-laced tirade.

…and even though I don’t like to wear baseball caps, now I have to  get one, just on the off-chance.  Or maybe one of these… oh yes, baby:

I just wish I knew where this little weasel hangs out so I could go there after the thing’s been delivered.  The Notions Department at Target, no doubt, given his self-description.

Stirling Morris, a self-described feminist, LGBTQ supporter, and ‘global citizen,’ took to Twitter to express random disdain for Deplorables whom he describes as “racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, bigoted hate-mongers.”

Oh sweetheart… you don’t know  what hate is.  Or a “profanity-laced tirade”, for that matter.  But you will.

Pity the fool.

Fuck Off, Reg

I was going to write something about this topic, but Brendan O’Neill got there first, and did it perfectly.

Read the whole thing.


Update: Nobody seems to have noticed the “classical reference” in both the title and O’Neill’s enjoinder.  It’s taken from a Cheech & Chong sketch from the late 1970s (I think it’s the Big Bambu  album) which satirizes a British punk band.  And, of course, the “Reg” here is Elton John’s real first name.

Nature In The Raw

I’m always amused by stories such as this one:

A musician who was collecting nature sounds while camping at a remote spot in Canada was mauled to death by a bear that dragged him away as he slept.
Julian Gauthier, 44 – who was born in Canada but has lived in France since he was 19 – was on a trip by the Mackenzie River in the Northwest Territories when he was dragged off by the beast on Thursday, July 15, according to biologist, Camille Toscani, who was traveling with him.
Gauthier was collecting nature sounds for his work and planned to canoe 930 miles down the river from Fort Providence to Inuvik.
But he was attacked by the animal in the middle of the night in the Tulita area, only one week after he posted about four bears being the only other living souls they’d seen on their trip.

It never ceases to amaze me that people head out into nature utterly unprepared for what might befall them once they’re there.  In the above case, I’m sure that had the guy been offered a gun to take with him, he probably would have declined because Eeeevil Guns.  But I’m also bewildered that he wasn’t offered some measures that might either repel grizzlies or at least keep one alerted to their presence (IR motion sensors, klaxon sirens, bear spray etc.);  but without any of that stuff, he ended up being grizzly din-dins.

One would think that as he’d spent his first nineteen years in Canada, he’d be at least a little  aware of what he was getting into;  on the other hand, though, if he grew up in some non-Canadian milieu such as Toronto he’d probably be as blissfully unaware of the peril as a Manhattanite.

Please, people:  as far as that old bitch Mother Nature is concerned, we humans are like marshmallows:  soft, slow, tasty and harmless.  It’s only when we take on accoutrements (such as the above) that put us at the top of the food chain that we stand a chance of survival.

Anyway, at least the deceased got a few “nature sounds” on tape, although I’m guessing that “chomping bear jaws” probably wasn’t what he was looking for.

Here would be my suggestion for an anti-bear device:

That’s a Mossberg 500 Mariner 12ga, and I’d load the mag tube with a mixture of 00 buckshot and slugs.  (If such things are allowed in Canuckistan, that is.)

Politics As Advertising

No, this isn’t about political ads — may a pox be upon all of them.  This post by Aaron Clarey examines why Corporate America has turned into a collection of fucking scolds, despite all the marketing precepts that define marketing stupidity as injecting politics into your corporate ethos.  Here’s a brief excerpt:

But now corporations sermonizing the rest of the world about leftist politics has gone viral. And it behooves the question why. Why would corporations take such a risk? Why would corporations be so foolish? And you can call me an ole fuddy duddy, by why are corporations so arrogant and rude? How dare you assholes lecture me about anything outside the purchase of your product or service, you smug, cocky, arrogant assholes?

And then he answers all that in the rest of the post.  Read it all;  it’s worth it, despite its horrible conclusion.

Then go and smash your head against the wall, like I did.