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Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Why Rejuvenation?
Here’s one that got me thinking:
Scientists have found ancient [herpes] viruses locked inside Neanderthal bones that are 50,000 years old — and experts could be set to recreate them. The team who made the discovery now plan to try and synthesize these viruses to see how they compare to modern ones.
Clearly, the modern, largely-incurable herpes viruses aren’t enough for us to deal with.
Okay, let’s have them explain themselves:
“These Jurassic Park-like viruses could then be studied for their reproductive and pathogenic traits and compared to present-day counterparts.”
Actually, no. The last fucking thing we need is to find out how they reproduced themselves. Why? Because once we do, the shit will be able to reproduce itself.
Wuhan, anyone?
The hell with that. I’m very supportive of Scientific Curiosity and all that, but sometimes you just have to draw the line.
And frankly, if we’re going to bring old stuff back to life, what’s wrong with resurrecting the mid-1950-era Mercedes 300 SC?
They could be made in all pretty colors, with- or without soft tops, etc., etc.
Oh wait, I forgot: that’s engineering, not !Science!
Still, I put it to my Readers that having the world flooded with fine 300 SCs would be far more beneficial to life than doing the same with a 50,000-year-old pox.
Feel free to propose other extinct things you’d like to bring back to the modern world; but I have to warn y’all, I got fibs on crucifixion.
Quote Of The Day
From SOTI, talking about the recent Eurovision Song Contest:
The Palestinians sent a contestant, but the timer went off early and they were no longer available.
News Roundup
Let’s talk about something interesting.
...yeah, and when pets, joggers or children start getting eaten, then — aargh, I couldn’t be bothered even talking about this foolishness.
On to The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...sounds like an elegant solution to a problem, right there.
...and nobody cares, because CdM is just an excuse for amateurs to wear stupid costumes and drink too much.
#StPatricksDay
...basically, it’s a lab experiment for the U.S., only we’re already doing it bigger and better.
News from The Pulpit:
...and the AP (of course) thinks that this is a Bad Thing.
Then you have what the Catholics would call “the heathens”:
...but if it’s not to Allah, then one of those faiths is gonna kill you, of course. And speaking of foolishness:
…what the hell, they’ve allowed Commies into their clergy, why not the freakos too? And the final nail in the coffin:
...plans? I thought that program was pretty much in place already.
And speaking of evil teachers…
In the Dept. of Education:
...gets around, doesn’t she?
Some Pre-Insignifica:
...keyword: Floriduh.
...when it works on Harvey Weinstein, then she can make that claim. Unless, of course, she’s managed to combine the smell of money with the taste of chocolate, in which case all bets are off.
...basically, it’s a Train Smash trifecta: dubious hairstyle choice, intoxication and a cigarette.
And in even more 
...actually, having the Sun King’s genes splashing around in her DNA pool probably explains a great deal about her.
And in the Who She? Dept.:
...bikini by Shein, lips by Michelin.
And that’s the news.
Monday Funnies
And if you substitute Uncle Sam for the shrew on the left, you’ve about guessed my mood today.
And this neatly sums up my attitude vis-à-vis government:
But let me end with a more positive message to the alphabet agencies snooping around my back porch, seeing as it’s the beginning of the week:
Now say bye-bye, and head off to work.
News Roundup
So let us begin with Trump News:
...as long as “purge” includes floggings and mass execution of traitors, I’m all for it.
...but when Fuckface Kerry did just that during Trump’s first term and even undermined his policies, that was perfectly okay? Got it.
...sheesh, when even John McCain’s box-of-rocks daughter sees the writing on the wall, the Commies must be feeling nervous.
...you mean, in addition to Wokism, the shit economy, terrible foreign policy, anti-Americanism, oppressive government [list of 200 more reasons omitted]?
...and he didn’t need a fucking teleprompter, either.
In Unspeakable Bastard Government News:
…
As The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© continues:
...and it being Seattle, those demands will likely be met, along with added obsequious grovelling instead of clubbings and “deportations”.
And in related Travel News:
...I would have thought that this was actually a permanent thing, but apparently not.
#AllMuslimCountriesAreShitholes #ChangeMyMind
In Nutrition News:
...should never have put that disgusting shit on the shelves in the first place.
...hey, Double-Decaf Extra-Cinnamon Latte-Lovers, we’ve been saying that for nearly thirty years.
#SmugPoseurs #DunkinIsBetter #AndCheaper
In Entertainment News:
...what, exactly, did you expect from Australian crowds, if not hooliganism and projectile vomiting? Also keyword: Melbourne.
And speaking of Aussies:
...had a bad relationship or two with Teh Menz, did we? To compensate for the loss of sales as her hetero market dwindles, I see OnlyFannies in her future.
...just the usual Train Smash stuff. Why do you ask?
And in our linkless 
...don’t care, don’t wanna know.
And in the Bountiful Curves Gallery:
…and bountiful they are indeed:
And that is the back side of the news.