Your suggestions in the usual place…
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Roundup
Sponsored by:
And why not?
...I guess he just got sick of being bossed around by a bunch of bossy Karens. Amazingly, this was in Canada.
...yeah, fuck your “holidays” bullshit, it’s Christmas, y’all. Sheesh, I’m an atheist and I appreciate the Christmas spirit.
From the Sounds About Right Department:
...there should also be clubbing and flailing, but I’ll take what I can get.
A sad note:
...the more guns become commonplace, the more people are just going to forget they’re carrying them. Be smart, people.
...I hate the sound of all that J&B glugging down the drain, but oh well… I guess it’s single malt or Famous Grouse from now on.
...and all Argentina rejoices. Ummmmm maybe a little too heartily:
...fool kid obviously never heard of Isadora Duncan before.
And from the Dept. of Global Freezing Climate Warming Change:
...no shit? And I may end up in bed with Nigella Lawson. (Neither is going to happen in my lifetime, in other words.)
...climate change is causing the magnetic poles to move? Like what happened thousands of years ago, before SUVs?
...remind me: wasn’t this the same supercomputer that said that sea levels would rise by 50 feet in 2015?
Moving away from stupidity to common sense:
...I can live without Cuba Libres, so I’m cool with this. I just hope he bans children as well. Serious drinking is no place for kiddies.
And the INSIGNIFICA sez:
...oh FFS.
...I had no idea that “wows” now means “causes mass projectile vomiting”. (Warning: link contains pics.)
Something slightly more pleasant to look at, as we conclude our study of women:
...a much better filling for a “plunging navy swimsuit”, I think.
And that’s all the pre-Christmas news for now.
News Roundup
Sponsored by:
And in we dive:
...every single one of these people — CDC and the gun controllers — need daily scourgings, for a full year. Let’s not even talk about the fact that gun violence isn’t a “disease”.
...way I see it, anyone who eats this disgusting shit deserves everything that happens to them.
Director James Cameron said in a recent interview that his upcoming movie is the most empowering movie for women because one of the characters is a pregnant warrior
...anyone seen the movie Fargo (1996)?
...clearly, we’ve run out of military heroes to use as ships’ names. Still, it could have been worse, e.g. USS Buttigieg.
...take it in the ass, fuckwits, just like border towns have had to.
In the Sounds About Right Dept.:
...as long as Dad has the fortitude to keep it going, that is.
...do they still have public beheadings in Lebanon? Asking for a friend.
From our International News Desk:
...what they can’t control, they want to ban. Same as Leftists everywhere.
...the actual headline is even more ridiculous than this one.
From INSIGNIFICA:
...I wouldn’t have used the word “incredible”, unless as originally meant, “defies belief”.
Monday Funnies
So on we go:
And just for the hell of it, a blast from the past:
Quote Of The Day
From Ishmael:
Bought some Sainsbury’s sausages yesterday, there’s a picture of Jamie Oliver on the front, on the back it says “Prick with fork”.
Can’t argue with that.
Brilliant.
News Update
Sponsored by:
Let’s but us no buts, but just dive headlong into the news…
...oh, but but but what about the global freezing climate warming change?
...explain again why we need this particular Constitutional provision to be underlined?
...while we’re there, what about the ones who promised to emigrate if Trump won in 2016?
And speaking of celebrities:
...if anyone has been well and truly “dated” (i.e. shagged by a multitude of strange men), it’s this bedraggled tart.
...shoulda listened to the bookies (pre-tournament: 16-1 against).
...by injection, instead of by flaying and crucifixion. Otherwise, an excellent ending to the story.
…I don’t care if they have 24/7 continuous orgasms. Kill them all with fire.
...remind me again why nationalized healthcare is such a good thing.
...the rats should be feasting on the striking workers’ festering corpses, but that’s just my opinion. I mean:
...not even the Blitz inflicted such hardship on the long-suffering Brits.
...where would we be without experts to tell us why men fuck around when they’re drunk, in the company of women they may have been fantasizing about for ages, and their wives aren’t in the room?
...and Skanky McSkankface is somehow surprised by this.
From the pimply backside of INSIGNIFICA:
And in our alt-Paige Three Department:
That’s enough news Paiges.