And our weekly reminder:
And on we go:
And in that same vein:
Now: eyeballs back in sockets, and get on with it.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Caption Competition #396
Your suggestions in Comments.
Quote Of The Day
In response to this lament:
“These kids never learned the proper way to be a barfly,” said an L.A. bartender, quoted in “Gen Z Doesn’t Want to Start a Bar Tab/To the chagrin of bartenders, many 20-something bargoers prefer to close out and pay after every single drink.”
That’s not the quote. This is:
As with everything else in the New York Times though, I am going to default to “none of these discussions actually happened” and the “author” just made everything up.
The man’s almost as cynical as I am.
Sic transit mendax.
News Roundup
Well, not all gals:
...as long as the starvation and death of the “millions” are confined to illegal immigrants illegally getting welfare or Medicaid, I don’t see the problem.
And speaking of said group:
...keep it going, folks. Lots more still to toss out. Still on the topic of hostile aliens:
...other than the universities getting the income from fees, I’m pretty sure that anyone not called Bernie Sanders will have no problem with this.
And:
...like anyone cares what some washed-up mediocre Irish pop star says.
...to the surprise of absolutely nobody. Why is this old Nazi-loving cunt still a U.S. citizen?
...given the source, I don’t think that’s going to happen.
#ChrisMurphy #HystericalSocialist #Connecticut
In Medical News:
…
In Tribe News:
...a mitzvah if ever I saw one.
And in Crime News:
...old Charlie needs to watch out; people down here are kinda twitchy about that “shots at Trump” thing.
...wait; he’s going to pardon FBI agents now?
In Sports News:
...apparently, there is crying in baseball after all.
...say it ain’t so, Marylou. Wait… she’s 57? [exit, feeling really old]
and in our weekly look at (non-linked) 
...these last two items have one thing in common.
#ThailandDontGoThere
And in a drive down 
:
...fuck me, and I thought she’d reached the bottom by bonking Shane Warne. Talk about Beauty and the Beast:
Ugh.
Which is the best way to end this news roundup.
Monday Funnies
Guess what day it is?
Our weekly update:
And on we go:
And the usual decorations:
Now hit the road, all of you:
Inside Information
Here’s one for my long-suffering Lady Readers: it turns out that engaging in a simple fitness exercise can provide you with a Big Moment.
The tingly, burning sensation traveled from the bottom of my feet up the back of my taut calves, through my thighs, into my pelvis, up my spine, on towards the crown of my head. Then as I raised myself back up onto my toes, it traveled back down my body again. My calves burned but so did other parts of my body – parts that shouldn’t be at 9.15am on a Tuesday, as I stood in my gym kit trying to increase my core strength as I trained for a half marathon. It was pain, but it was also, unmistakably, pleasure.
It was – and I apologize if you’re eating your breakfast as you read this – an orgasm.
I mean, think about it: you can get a Big O without all that hassle of involving a partner, or touching yourself inappropriately under the desk, or messing up the bed (if you’re doing it properly, that is).
And you can even get it while doing something healthy: a two-fer, to use retail-speak.
No need to thank me, ladies; it’s all part of the service.
And for the rest of you: it seems like this is a girls-only phenomenon, sorry. You’ll just have to do what you normally do to get yours.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.