Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Spanking Opportunity

Eco-Crap, Freaks & Loonies

Here’s a way to deal with the Glue Movement — okay, first a little background from Reader Mike L.:

Coco Gauff’s U.S. Open semifinal victory over Karolina Muchova was delayed by 50 minutes because of a disruption by four environmental activists in the Arthur Ashe Stadium stands Thursday night. One protester glued his bare feet to the concrete floor.

My first reaction to this little reindeer game was to think:  “If they’re glued to the floor, they can’t run away, can they?”

Which led to the following (perhaps unworthy) visual:

Oh sure, like I’m the only one who thought of that when reading the article…

News Roundup

Bad News

Speaking of pineapples:


...yeah, that’s the ticket:  cash to furriners’ wars instead of to disaster-struck Americans.  Speaking of morons:


...clearly, he’s sick of being governor.


…leave it off, KMac.  By the time you’ve marshaled the lawyers, got it though the House only to have it voted down by the Senate, he’ll either be dead of old age, totally ga-ga or else Clintoned.

In Political News (Brit Edition, no links because irrelevant):


...yeah, and if you idiot Brits vote him into power, every single promise he’s made will be broken, and you’ll still be bent over the desk.  (Afterthought:  Britain still makes steel?  Who knew?)

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©:


...lessee:  Africa’s principal exports (so far):  AIDS, West Nile virus, millions of criminal “asylum seekers”, hurricanes which flatten the Caribbean and eastern U.S., radical Muslim terrorists and now, searing heat to the U.K.  And people still wonder why I want to let the whole fucking continent sink.


...you don’t say.  Electrical systems short out and catch fire when submerged under water, who’d a thunk?


...wait, it wasn’t Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©?


...you had me at “Biden” and “no real intelligence”.

In the Dept. of Totally Bloody Useless Anti-Crime Measures:


...the Britcops being still too busy checking the Internet for hate speech.


...wait, he was arrested in NYC?  Clearly, Fake News.

From the Department of Education:


...and they said the Age of Romance was dead.  And finally:


...as opposed to the 95% online garbage that’s been generated by humans so far?

And now, ’tis INSIGNIFICA time:

 


...maybe if she filmed every scene in the nude, I’d watch it.

Read more

Easy Fix

The Gun Thing, Vermin

…just not in Britishland:

Giant rats the size of ‘small dogs’ have turned a street in Glasgow into a no-go zone for refuse workers.

Film has emerged of rodents running down children’s slides, scampering across lawns, feasting from bins and getting into fights with seagulls.

Chris Mitchell, GMB convenor for Glasgow’s cleansing workers [garbage men — K.] said some staff had needed hospital treatment after being bitten or scratched by rats in other areas of the city. Vermin infestations in Glasgow rose by 31 per cent from 2021 to 2022, with 10,323 reports.

Am I the only one who gets an itch in the index finger when reading about this stuff?

The way I see it, there are two decent options, both in .22 LR:


…loaded with .22 shot shells, as indicated.  Or, if you want to keep things quiet:

Of course, because the above rat problem is in Britishland, neither of the above is possible because stupid Brit gun laws.

That said, if the rats are getting into fights with seagulls (a.k.a. winged rats), there’s at least some entertainment value to be had, before whacking both.

News Roundup

Bad News

The above is actually a personal endorsement.  I had lunch there on one pf my road trips a while ago, and the food was outstanding.  Can’t remember where it was, though:  just outside one of those redneck speedways in the South (Bristol? Martinsville? Darlington? whatever).


...next:  suing cutlery makers for making knives so easy to stab with.


...so that’s why they’re not going to build any more nuke power stations, then?


...sounds presidential.  As opposed to:


...seems like the hurricane hit the wrong part of Florida.


...in which we play the “Guess The Race” game once again.

From the Department of Education:


...keyword:  Canada.

In the battle of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:


...keyword:  again, Canada.


...keyword:  Australia (lol you thought I was going to say “Canada” again, dint ya?)


...it didn’t really matter who had deckchair rearrangement duty on the Titanic, either.


...even more shocking:  she wasn’t their schoolteacher.


...if only he hadn’t picked the farmer’s favorite.

And talking about cow-shaggers and dead-horse floggers:


…


...for three days a year.


...I’m just amazed they had the staff left over to do some actual policing, what with all the parent harassment, Internet snooping and crazed gunman avoidance.

And in (guaranteed link-free) INSIGNIFICA:

…dunno why she was worried:  she’s always had far better tits than the skinny and bulemic Lady Di.