As Mollie Hemingway says:
“The worst part of the Trump presidency was the hate-drenched media spewing chaos and conspiracy theories. The best part was everything else.”
Sent to me by Reader Old Texan:
At any other time, in any other place, with any other Republican candidate, charts like this would mean a 48-2 state result in the Presidential election.
This year…?
So let’s look at the news, which will also cause you to break wind.
From the Dept. of Health, Nutrition and Religion:
...tastes like shit, is bad for you: just like vegans themselves, I’m told.
Speaking of religions:
…
And while we’re on the Jew-Hate train of thought:
...wait: sexual activity? If looking at those Holocaust pics gives you a woody, you need help.
From the Dept. of Education:
...this all started when the courts decided that illegal immigrant children were entitled to free state education.
#DontCare #ReapTheWhirlwind
...Go Huskers! And while we’re there:
...sadly, only in rural areas, where there isn’t too much danger from random assholes. In the city schools, however, where there IS that kind of danger, the schools need to rely on the cops.
#UvaldeAgain
Still with the kiddies:
...but but but…isn’t underage sex illegal! You mean making something illegal doesn’t end the problem?
From the Lawn Order News Desk:
...and of course he will; in 2050, when it’s used against his side.
...at gunpoint, perhaps? I think he just means “run them over”. [/Insty]
#NudgeNudgeWinkWink
And The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© continues apace:
...promises made by government, promises not kept by government. Welcome to the U.S.A.
#CivicsLesson
In the Romance Dept.:
...errrrr no, I think you’ll find it was actually the heroin.
#AutopsyReport
And now for some linkless 
And living in 
:
...actually, she’s always been kinda fond of the sparkly dress stuff:
And on that powerfully-erotic note, we end the news.
You know, when I were a lad, women in their late 50s looked like old women: they wore old lady clothes and shoes, their hair was gray, they did things like knitting and sewing, baked cakes and stuff for their grandkids… you get my drift, I think.
Well what then, to make of these old broads? (links in the pics)
Salma Hayek, 57
I mean, if you look closely at her hands, you can see she’s no spring chicken. But who the hell looks at her hands?
Then there’s Item #2 on this little list:
Shania Twain, 58
Apparently, Our Shania has recently discovered the joy of walking around the house naked. (you may go off and take that heart pill, now)
Finally — and I could do this for ages, but I have to end this sometime — there’s:
Liz Hurley, 58
Well, we know all about her, of course.
Another gin, Kim? I think so. I don’t think it’s healthy to take so many heart pills in a row.
Your suggestions in Comments.
Watch as Harry Metcalfe tries to get his ancient Fiat 500 to start, after a 5-year layoff.
(yes, that’s Harry, back in the 1980s)
As it looks now:
Much frustration follows, as Harry and Charlie try one thing, and then another — and along the way, we get a lesson on how the Fiat’s simple engine works.
But… all is to avail, and in despair they start talking about having to drop the engine out.
And then… a simple fix, and there is much joy in Harry’s Garage.
Now, a tour of Harry’s garage. And there’s a sequel to this, in the very next post.
No of course it doesn’t exist — for one thing, I’m not a zillionaire like Harry Metcalfe, and nor have I been a petrolhead like Harry for decades.
That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t (and who wouldn’t?) like to have a 10-car garage like Harry’s, filled with all my dream cars. The only question: could I keep it to only 10? Let’s have a look, and they’re not in any order of preference.
Firstly, Longtime Loyal Readers will not be surprised by any of the cars in my garage, because they’ve heard me bang on about them for years. So I’ll start with the most-frequently-mentioned ones:
1972 Dino 246 GT
Okay, honestly: it was Ferrari’s first attempt at an entry-level Ferrari — Old Man Enzo didn’t even want to badge it as a Ferrari, at first — and it’s not really a very good drive, by Ferrari standards. The gear shift is clunky and the clutch needs Lou Ferrigno muscles to work if you’re driving it in stop-start traffic. But: it is to my mind, and to the minds of many others, one of (if not the most) beautiful cars ever built. And if like me you will occasionally say, “The hell with function; what about the form?” then you’re not going to quibble (kinda like Salma Hayek’s inability to make a decent fish ‘n chips: who cares?).
The same is true of the next one in Kim’s Garage:
1966 Jaguar E-type Series 2 Speedster
Yes, I’d probably prefer to have the resto-modded Eagle version, but truthfully, I don’t care. And this car needs no justification, because E-type.
2001 BMW Z8
BMW’s successor to the 1959 Model 507, it’s one of the very few “modern” (made in the 21st century) cars that made me catch my breath the minute I saw it for the first time. As did the next one:
2015 Maserati GT
It has a Ferrari 4.7-liter V8 engine, and looks to put Lollobrigida in the shade; what’s not to worship? But enough of the youngins. Let’s go back in time a tad…
1954 Mercedes 300 SC
Quite possibly one of the best cars Mercedes has ever built. The engineers were told to design a car that could cruise at top speed all day on the autobahn without ever suffering a mechanical breakdown of any kind. So they did. (I’d even accept the larger 300 S sedan model of the same year — same car, really.)
1967 Austin Healey 3000 Mk III
Yeah I know: oil leaks, Lucas electrical system, blah blah blah. Don’t care, I love it dearly. As I do the next sports car:
1970 Alfa Romeo Giulia GT Junior
Alfa pura. Tiny, raucous, spunky and glorious. Like the next one.
1966 Mini-Moke
Not the modern electrical one; this is the underpowered runaround with the famed Mini 850cc engine; famous, that is, for being the engine that when you put your throttle flat to the floor: nothing happens. And speaking of underpowered runarounds; if I couldn’t find the older Austin Moke, then I’d get a decent substitute:
1960 Fiat 500 Jolly
Just the wicker seats alone make this worth the price of admission. But let’s get serious, now…
1976 Mercedes 450 SEL 6.9
The Q-ship of the Mercedes line, with a standard W116 frame that concealed a roaring 6.9-liter V8 monster under the hood. What the 1954 Merc engineers would have designed if they’d had the technology. (In today’s money, it cost the equivalent of $195,000 back then.) This, and the ’54 300 SC would be my “refined” drives.
At some point, I have to acknowledge that several of the sports cars listed above would be, shall we say “occasional” drives, the occasions being that they were actually working and not in the shop. So for the last one, I’m going to go for reliability above all.
1994 Honda NSX
It’s the sports-car equivalent of the two Mercedes on the list: reliable to a fault, but with all the grunt I’d ever want or need. And it’s not bad looking, either. (I don’t like the more recent model NSX because it’s pig-ugly and vulgar.)