Category: Men & Women

Things that men and women do, sometimes to each other

A Whole New Word

Grooming, Men & Women

I see this development with something approaching satisfaction:

Women are wearing ‘safety layers’ over their outfits to deter ‘creepy’ men – with many labeling it ‘sad but necessary’.

Let me get all the stipulations out of the way, first.

Yes, I agree that womyns should be able to wear what they want.  Yes, I agree that womyns should be “body proud” to bolster their self-esteem.  Yes, I agree that (in this respect anyway) Men Are Pigs and shouldn’t respond to scantily-clad womyns with catcalls, wolf whistles and overt sexual behavior (groping, etc.), not to mention trying to sneak some “upskirt pics” (which is really unacceptable).

However:

If womyns are going to dress like prostitutes, please understand that while men like myself can simply appreciate the female form as an object of beauty, Not All Men Are Like That and some may regard displays of flesh and the female form as sex objects.  Yes, their behavior is to be deplored.

But, in the words of some wise man, and according to sound marketing principle:

If the goods aren’t for sale, don’t put them in the window.

I hate to sound old-fashioned, but there’s this word… wait, it’ll come to me… give me a moment, what was it again?  Oh yeah:

Now I know that the word has been abused, most notably by the radical religionists (Puritans, Muslims an other assholes of that ilk), and if applied to its extreme, you get shunning, niqabs, mercy killings and so on.  All bad things.

But can we at least agree that somewhere between this:

and this:

…there lies an expansive area wherein womyns can dress in a non-provocative fashion that is still… sexy, without being overly provocative?

I often use Brit-TV hottie and uber-MILF Charlotte Hawkins as an example of stylishness and sexiness, because she is most often seen in public dressed, ummm stylishly and sexily.  This does not means she can’t go deep, so to speak:

…but only when the occasion calls for it, i.e. when display is called for, in a secure environment so to speak.

I know, all this is Not Fair To Women etc., but can we at least try to live in the real world, and not in some ur-feminist fantasy?

Modesty works, ladies, and you need to dial Teh Sexeh back a tad when you’re out in the public eye.

Gettin’ Busy

Men & Women, Seen On Campus

Seems as though our kids are being taken in hand:

“Over the last two days, at least six female teachers across the nation have been arrested for engaging in inappropriate sexual misconduct with students…”

Just to add a little perspective, here:  six teachers out of tens of thousands is barely a rounding error, and the “past two days” is just a random cluster — it’s not every two days, after all.

Then again, to complete the excerpt:

“…including one Kentucky educator who allegedly took part in encounters with a pair of 16-year-old boys.”

Now that’s what I call a well-rounded education.

And yeah, I’m not taking it seriously because the “victims” are teenage boys, and teenage boys are hardly the precious little pets the media makes them out to be.  I mean, I was a teenage boy, back in the Jurassic Age, and if the delectable red-headed Miss Cooke had ever offered herself to me…

 
…in a heartbeat, Bubba.

Rather Die

Advice, Men & Women

There’s just no end to the madness:

Same sex couples score better than straight people in most sex studies, consistently across the board. Research shows they have better orgasms, more partner orgasms and more satisfying sex all round.

Really?  And just how do we quantify “better” orgasms, Sex Lady?  Describing an orgasm, any orgasm, to someone else is like trying to describe a sunset to a blind man in the first place.  Then, to define “better” in terms of “degrees of indescribable”?

Ah don’ thank so, Scooter.

Never mind that I’m never going to ask someone else for tips on having better sex — FFS, have we no decency nowadays? — and also because I’m not 15 anymore.

And frankly, if I wanted to know how lesbians pleasure other women, I’d hit the “Lesbo Porn” tag at letsfuck.com.

I don’t want to be part of this world anymore.

Fuck it, I’m off to the range.

Three HUNDRED?

Men & Women

Sheesh, if this story is true…

Oklahoma high school cheer coach Jennifer Hawkins, 45, was arrested for allegedly having sex with her daughter’s 16-year-old ex-boyfriend more than 300 times.

…okay, that was over five times a month, every month, for five years.  I know some married couples who haven’t reached a number anything like that in the same time-frame.

Ah, to be young and vigorous again.  It’s like a modern-day Summer Of 42, really — except that this lasted somewhat longer than Hermie’s one-nighter.

And don’t hit me with that “if the genders were reversed” nonsense.  It’s only when she started getting greedy that the kid got nervous.

I’m just chuckling over the kid boffing both the daughter and the mommy.  As a wise dude once said:

But I have to say, the Oklahoma Jennifer Hawkins doesn’t look like that Jennifer Hawkins.

In the latter case, the total could have gone from three hundred to three thousand, easily.

How About Just MYOFB?

Men & Women

Is there no end to this bullshit?

How often should you really be masturbating? Experts give weekly target for men AND women

I think the word “should” is the first word that makes my nose start to twitch, while “weekly target” follows close behind.

Of course, the answer is:  “As much or as little as you feel like”, but the real answer is “Just mind your own fucking business, all of you”.

Just in case you’re behind your weekly quota [sic], however, here’s a little assistance:

No need to thank me;  it’s all part of the service.

Growing Skin

Feminazis, Men & Women, Sports

…and I’m not talking about that skin, either.

One of the nicest things about the game of golf is that it’s a gentle one — no bodies crashing against each other, no feats of strength, no slam-dunks or soaring home runs:  just quiet, delicate and deliberate movements.

Which also applies to the subtle art of gamesmanship.  No in-your-face screaming “Bring It On!”, chest-thumping or trying to put your opponent off his shot;  just quiet, subtle digs designed to get inside his head to make him change his game, to his disadvantage or your advantage.

I remember once mis-hitting a drive which just managed to stay on the fairway, but only went for about 150 yards — whereupon my opponent asked disingenuously:  “Does your husband also play golf?” implying, of course, that I hit like a girl.

And before anyone thinks that this kind of remark is in any way demeaning to women — it isn’t, because the fact of the matter is that women can’t hit the ball as far as a man can, which is why all golf courses have a “Ladies Tee” in each hole, usually many yards closer to the fairway and green than those used by men.

So when Tiger Woods (47) surreptitiously handed his opponent Justin Thomas (29) a tampon after his drive had traveled further than the younger man’s, everyone knew exactly what he was doing:  teasing Thomas, and playing a little gamesmanship.

Did I say everyone?   Perish the thought.  Of course, Feministicals International went berserk, calling Woods a misogynist and his actions “demeaning” and “disrespectful” to Womyns Everywhere.  FFS, here’s some rancid cow’s take:

She then queried if he was implying ‘periods are embarrassing or shameful or a sign of weakness?’

No he didn’t do that, dumbass.  He was teasing his buddy, and nothing more.  It’s a golfing tradition which goes back probably over a hundred years.  Oh gawd, I can hear the cries now:  “Well, it’s a tradition that has no place in today’s game!”

Fuck you, Sheila.  If you want us to take you seriously, stop getting so upset by something so unimportant.

Stop acting like a little girl, in other words, and grow some skin.

So these humorless fucks — girlymen and womyns alike — are going to try to take Tiger down (again) for being such a pig.

Fortunately, there’s one woman with a bit of commonsense:  Paige Spirinac, who uttered the immortal words:

‘If anyone tries to cancel Tiger over this, we riot!’

…adding the priceless (and true) comment:

‘It’s funny!”

For that down-to-earth attitude, young Paige gets more than just a mention:

Clearly, she understands the situation and has the perfect response:

‘Instead of women being outraged by Tiger and the tampon, I would love for them to actually provide ideas to help,’ she tweeted. ‘ For example I would have [Tampax] team up with the PGA tour to run a campaign where they provide free feminine products at golf courses.  Most don’t actually have them and during long rounds it can be a problem for us.’

Turning outrage into marketing — now that’s a Real Woman’s response.