Growing Skin

…and I’m not talking about that skin, either.

One of the nicest things about the game of golf is that it’s a gentle one — no bodies crashing against each other, no feats of strength, no slam-dunks or soaring home runs:  just quiet, delicate and deliberate movements.

Which also applies to the subtle art of gamesmanship.  No in-your-face screaming “Bring It On!”, chest-thumping or trying to put your opponent off his shot;  just quiet, subtle digs designed to get inside his head to make him change his game, to his disadvantage or your advantage.

I remember once mis-hitting a drive which just managed to stay on the fairway, but only went for about 150 yards — whereupon my opponent asked disingenuously:  “Does your husband also play golf?” implying, of course, that I hit like a girl.

And before anyone thinks that this kind of remark is in any way demeaning to women — it isn’t, because the fact of the matter is that women can’t hit the ball as far as a man can, which is why all golf courses have a “Ladies Tee” in each hole, usually many yards closer to the fairway and green than those used by men.

So when Tiger Woods (47) surreptitiously handed his opponent Justin Thomas (29) a tampon after his drive had traveled further than the younger man’s, everyone knew exactly what he was doing:  teasing Thomas, and playing a little gamesmanship.

Did I say everyone?   Perish the thought.  Of course, Feministicals International went berserk, calling Woods a misogynist and his actions “demeaning” and “disrespectful” to Womyns Everywhere.  FFS, here’s some rancid cow’s take:

She then queried if he was implying ‘periods are embarrassing or shameful or a sign of weakness?’

No he didn’t do that, dumbass.  He was teasing his buddy, and nothing more.  It’s a golfing tradition which goes back probably over a hundred years.  Oh gawd, I can hear the cries now:  “Well, it’s a tradition that has no place in today’s game!”

Fuck you, Sheila.  If you want us to take you seriously, stop getting so upset by something so unimportant.

Stop acting like a little girl, in other words, and grow some skin.

So these humorless fucks — girlymen and womyns alike — are going to try to take Tiger down (again) for being such a pig.

Fortunately, there’s one woman with a bit of commonsense:  Paige Spirinac, who uttered the immortal words:

‘If anyone tries to cancel Tiger over this, we riot!’

…adding the priceless (and true) comment:

‘It’s funny!”

For that down-to-earth attitude, young Paige gets more than just a mention:

Clearly, she understands the situation and has the perfect response:

‘Instead of women being outraged by Tiger and the tampon, I would love for them to actually provide ideas to help,’ she tweeted. ‘ For example I would have [Tampax] team up with the PGA tour to run a campaign where they provide free feminine products at golf courses.  Most don’t actually have them and during long rounds it can be a problem for us.’

Turning outrage into marketing — now that’s a Real Woman’s response.


  1. Kim,
    For those who grow tired of Moar Paige (I know, I know .. silly me) .. there’s always Grace Charis …

    Have a Glorious Mardi Gras !!

    Slant-eyed .. if you’re reading this .. a belated Happy Pazcki Day. I know Pazcki Day was actually Thursday of last week, but have one (another one?) anyway. Here in greater Chicagostan, there’s no shortage of ’em.

    1. I have come to the conclusion that Golf and sporting clays should be combined…. dang it…..there should be a offense and defense in the game…… give a whole new meaning to the word Bunker

    2. Deplorable – I always use the occasion to remember my most famous ancestor, Alexander Graham Kotowski. The world’s first telephone Pole.

      I’m here all week. Tip your waitress.

  2. Gotta love the outrageously outrageous outrage emanating from the Holy Church Of Woke. They’ve recently issued a fatwa calling for Terry Bradshaw’s head for ridiculing Andy Reid’s girth at the Superbowl.

    I had done something stupid once upon a time & was commiserating with my dad about it. He said “Well, you’re a Polack, what did you expect?”

    “I’m only half a Polack. That must make you twice as stupid” I replied. Without missing a beat, he said “Half a Polack. Half a MAN.”

    Insulting shuck & jive is a requirement imposed by the Dude Code. Get over it, bitches.

  3. The problem with using Paige as a countervaling authority to the feministicals is that she’s sexy and attractive. By the feminists, that disqualifies her from having any opinion — let along a dispositive one — in any matter of sexual politics. After all, feminism is about the acquisition of power by ugly women.

    1. Mark, I would add some more adjectives to your ugly women – angry, humorless and bitter for starters. Don’t be kind to them; they deserve reprisals.

  4. I do my best to ignore those insufferable whales.

    I saw a cartoon in the early 90s that I wanted on a T shirt. It showed a guy at a help desk and a woman responding in a bookstore. The caption said, “This is a feminist bookstore, we don’t have a humor section.”


  5. It’s been the same damn thing every 28 days since she was a teenager, and she still can’t predict it?

  6. Any excuse for another edition of Paige Three is a good one.

    Although I do consider a golf course as a waste of perfectly good rifle range.

  7. So a guy goes to the pharmacy and asks for a dozen condoms. The clerk puts the box on the counter and asks, ‘Do you want a paper bag?’.
    Guy answers, ‘No, she’s not that ugly.’

  8. Its a shame Tiger already got down on his Knees and apologized. Just made him look weaker than he is to remain relevant.

  9. When I heard/read this report of Tiger, I immediately thought of the flick “The Sandlot”, and those immortal words: “You hit like a Girl!”
    Tiger was just saying “You drive like a Girl!” …… (“Gotcha!”)
    With what he’s endured in his rehab from that accident, and the distance he has yet to close, he’s entitled to a little fun – and every athlete who has comeback from a serious injury knows it.

  10. Intelligent and blessed with common sense, as well as stunningly beautiful. Paige just leveled up to Goddess in my estimation.

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