Media Assholes – Page 4 – Splendid Isolation

I’m applying for the job.

Just think of my initial report descriptions:

Jesuslanders are irrationally opposed to sexualization of 3-year-olds. Send $125,000 so I can investigate this strange mindset further by polling studies.

Inexplicably, gun ownership appears to be a big thing here. Send $125,000 so I can build a small arsenal and see what all the fuss is about.

Texans somehow think that people should be allowed to buy medical insurance to suit their own needs and means. (To Accounting: Please send $10,000 to cover my recent out-of-network medical expenses.)

I have discovered that in 2018, various voting districts went 75% for Trump. As these districts are all over the state, and Texas is apparently a bit bigger than New Jersey, please authorize an additional $145,000 in travel expenses so I can visit these distant worlds, so to speak, and investigate whether there were any voting irregularities.

Feel free to add your suggestions as to other things that the Washington Post will need me to cover.

Ignorant Cow

March 28, 2022 Kim du Toit Freaks & Loonies, Media Assholes

I speak here of so-called comedian (comedienne? I’m never sure) Whoopi Goldberg (real name: Caryn Elaine Johnson) who culturally appropriated a Jewish surname in order, one assumes, to get ahead in show business.

‘Twas this same Whoopi who declared on the TV bitchfest a.k.a. The View that in her opinion, Jill Biden should be nominated as Secretary of Health Services, “because she a doctor” — when anyone without terminal ignorance would have known that Mrs. Biden’s doctorate was not in Medicine (M.D.) but in Education, surely the lowest intellectually-ranked PhD outside Womyn’s Studies.

This ignorance has been extended yet again, when Our ~~Caryn~~ Whoopi:

…called on the royal family to “apologize” for slavery

Would it be crass to inform Whoopi that ~~Her Majesty Queen Victoria’s~~ (oops) His Majesty King William IV’s Government outlawed slavery in 1833*? And that future King Charles III and after-him William V have both offered royal apologies for their country’s use of slavery, several times in fact?

In the (paraphrased) words of South African protest singer Koos Kombuis**, “How much longer do we have to say we’re sorry?”

Someone should ask Ms. ~~Johnson~~ Goldberg et al. that very question — but the answer would undoubtedly be “FOREVER!” because otherwise who would the race hustlers have to blame for their shortcomings?

*In terms of European monarchies, the first to outlaw slavery was Denmark in 1803, followed by The Netherlands in 1814, Spain in 1817 and Greece in 1818.

**It’s a pity that Koos sings almost exclusively in Afrikaans, because his lyrics are at once savage and hysterically funny. He and I are not related, and he’s only two weeks older than I am.

Nothing Sinister

February 11, 2022 Kim du Toit Media Assholes

Bah. Apparently there’s something “sinister” about The Villages complex on Florida, as though there’s evil afoot by hoovering up a bunch of old farts, letting them have a good time and putting them into the equivalent of St. Peter’s waiting room.

To the relentlessly positive residents who fill their days with keeping fit and socialising, it is paradise on Earth.
But the immaculate lawns of The Villages — a sprawling development in Florida — hide a “sinister” underbelly, according to a filmmaker who likens it to the fake perfection of The Truman Show.

It seems as though “day drinking” is a Bad Thing, as though booze should only be consumed at night [pause to sip on my breakfast gin]. And ditto having fun:

Cheery music is pumped 24/7 over loudspeakers but ambulances turn off their sirens and funeral cars are unmarked. No one wants to be reminded of death.

Really.

Of course, if you read the article, there’s actually no dark underbelly, try as they may to find one.

Had the “journalist” spent just thirty seconds on an Internet search — as I did — he might have discovered this “shocker”: that The Jackals Of The Press cooked up a scandal about how The Villages is a hotbed of sex and venereal disease, when in fact it isn’t.

The entire motivation behind all this negativity can be explained by one word — ENVY — because gawd forbid that people who have led long, productive lives, raised families and paid taxes should now be allowed to enjoy themselves, in the twilight of their lives.

Rope. Tree. Journalist. Some assembly required.

Helpless Laughter

February 8, 2022 Kim du Toit Media Assholes, Resistance, RINO/GOPe

Larry Correia has already warned the Left about getting what they seem to wish for; and now some creature named Michael Anton done an article, only to be brutally Fiskicated by Ian Gruene. (Insty already linked to it, but I can’t resist piling on.) A sample, talking about the great “right wing militant” trope:

But this question also depends on what you consider “right wing insurrection”. If you are talking about a half-dozen fruitcakes with an underpants-gnomes plan then no there won’t be many. Mostly because troublesome fruitcakes are a very small problem no matter what the subject is.

On the other hand if you are talking about people who think most or all of the U.S. government need to be killed, I have bad news for you. A large swath of the country considers that question settled and are now concerned with the doctrinal issues of whether it is best to follow the teachings of St. Augusto of the Whirling Blades, or St. Tepes of the Artificial Forest.

For those to whom the latter references are unfamiliar (and bless your innocent little hearts), allow me to represent them in pics:

Anyway, follow the link and have a chuckle.

LOL Canceled

February 2, 2022 Kim du Toit Good Stuff, Media Assholes

So CNN boss Jeff Zucker has had to quit because for the past few years he’s been dipping his pen into this office inkwell:

(Personally, I don’t think that’s a good reason to have to quit — he’s the boss, let him fuck whoever will let him. At least he didn’t weinstein the skinny tart.)

But best of all, Whoopi Goldberg (a.k.a. Caryn Johnson) has been suspended from The View.

You see, Dearest Whoopi thinks (despite her culturally-appropriated last name) that because no Blacks were incinerated at Auschwitz, that the Holocaust wasn’t based on racism. Fucking hell, she’s so ignorant it beggars belief.

Anyway, that’s two woke media assholes down the memory hole — at least, I hope so — and this “cancellation” couldn’t have happened to two more deserving shitheads.