Category: Funny Stuff

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Okay, it’s Monday ergo  time to get back to work and solve all those problems you postponed last week:

So to distract you from help you with your calculations, a few chuckles:

And seeing as the schools will all have started this week:

Followed by some wisdom from our elders:

And for those winter coughs and sniffles:

And speaking of being mentally fucked up:

So let’s wrap this up with something to erase that last picture from your brains, i.e. a little bit of Marina Sirtis:

Now get out of that chair and get to work.

News Roundup

Africa, Entertainment, Funny Stuff, Legal Stuff, Marxists

All the news that’s fit only for a one-liner response.

1) Iran puts $80-million bounty on Donald Trump;  George Lopez offers to have it done for $40 million — and for $20 million, I can get someone to take out George Lopez.  (See how that works?)

2) Ilhan Omar claims Trump will start war to protect his hotels’ income — and for another $10 million, I can include this traitorous African bitch in the deal.  (Okay, I’ll stop this thread now or we’ll be here all day.)

3) Showbiz phonies upset at being mocked by a chubby Brit — and a nation yawns.  And speaking of phonies:

4) Prince Ginger and Duchess Slutwife quit the Royalty junket — and the world (outside Britishland) yawns.

5) (South) Africa sinks — sic semper Africani.  (Africa Wins Again, expressed in classical terms.)

6) CNN gets its pee-pee whacked for ruining an innocent kid’s life — I hope the (confidential) settlement amount is a jillion bucks, not so much for spite but to make all the other media asshole organizations a little more circumspect in the future.

7) Girl wonder* AOC claims that everybody hates her — nah;  she’s the most despised / mocked / ignored… maybe — but hated?  Not worth the effort.  Now, as for Hillary Bitch Clinton…

8) Economy continues to grow — Paul Krugman hardest hit.  And now, a word from my doctor:

*”wonder” as in, “I wonder how anyone could be that ignorant and stupid?”

Tragedy, Repeated

Disaster, Eco-Crap, Freaks & Loonies, Lies and Untruths, Two-Minute Hate

While we all feel for the folks in Oz whose environment is being set to BROIL, it’s worth noting that many of their problems have been caused by the same people as the California genus:

But let us not allow the heartbreak and the emotion to distract us from the truth about this natural disaster: it has nothing whatsoever to do with ‘climate change’.
…[charts and graphs etc]…
So, to be clear, there is zero evidence of any change in climatic conditions that might have increased the likelihood or severity of these bush fires. This is not — repeat NOT — a man-made climate change story, and anyone who claims otherwise is either a gullible idiot or a lying charlatan.
There is, nonetheless, good reason to believe that the stupidity and irresponsibility of man is at least partly to blame for this disaster — just not quite in the way that the left-liberal MSM and the green wankerati would have you believe.

Read the article for the full story, but if you have insufficient time, here’s the executive summary:

Animal-worshipers, Greens and pyromaniacs.  Just like in California.

I feel the need for mass whippings, hangings etc. starting to build… but no doubt someone’s going to have  problem with this.

Omission, Explained

Train Smash Women

A little while ago, I asked why the Daily Mail  only features Train Smash Women Partying in northern British cities, and got this thoughtful email response from Reader Pippa D:

I believe it’s because the drinking areas and establishments in northern English cities are fairly centralised — Manchester, Deansgate; Newcastle, Bigg Market; Birmingham, Broad Street — for example. So the concentration of New Year drunks spilling out of local bars and clubs is greater. The party paparazzi duly get a lot of amusing/tragic photos as they are in the right place at the right time.
But in London, the drinking establishments are spread right across the city; they are spread across suburban areas too. Effectively, London is a swirl of lots of mini-towns with not one centralised ‘party district’. Not even Leicester Square, Piccadilly or Covent Garden. People party in Camden, Dalston, Clapham, Mayfair, etc. So if the paparazzi have to choose to wait for drunks outside a handful of pubs and bars in one small area containing only 3% of the overall nights revellers in the city, they might not get too much joy.
I don’t believe it’s a northern/southern British snobbery thing or politicised.

Makes sense to me — although I would suggest that pretty much any two-block area in London’s East End would yield similar results.

I also note, by the way, that the above pic came from the Daily Express, and not from the Mail.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Oh, hooray.  It’s the first Monday after the holidays, with a full work week to look forward to.

So let’s try to get things moving with a little humor.  Before we get going, however, I had no idea that Conan O’Brien played in the U.S. Women’s Soccer team:

But on with the show:

…not that they should, of course:  that’ll just weaken the bloodline.  And speaking of weak and whiny men:

And in the spirit [sic]  of the festive season just past:

Just sayin’.

But hey, it’s a new year, right?

,,,but just be sure where that light is coming from.

Before we do all that, however, let’s just wallow in the past a little, so to speak.  Back by popular demand, here’s a Swede nicer than the Mauser 1896, Anita Ekberg:

Now get going into that new year…

News Roundup

Funny Stuff

All the shit that doesn’t deserve its own post.

1) Leader of attack on U.S. Embassy in Baghdad was a guest at the Obama White House — wouldn’t surprise me if his “welcome basket” included a bj from the First Lady, either.

2) Trump orders our Dealers of Death to blow up various terrorist assholes — please Sir, can we have some more?

3) Iran Threatens “Escalation” — go ahead.  Here’s what happened to another country  (Japan) which escalated on us.  We even have a term for it:  “massive retaliation”.

4) Fidel Raul Julian Castro quits the presidential race — who?  And speaking of hopeless losers:

5) Democrat presidential hopeful Joe Biden launched into the New Year by urging voters to make 2020 the year for gun control — go on, Joe;  write off well over 50 million gun owners (who all vote) before the primaries… yup, that’s going to work well for you.

6) Veganuary makes its appearance — as if Dry January last year wasn’t enough to make us want to throw those scolds off high buildings, now the nut-eaters are joining in.  Time for some serious counter-measures:

As my old buddy Paterson used to say:  “A meal without wine is… breakfast.”  One could say the same about steak, except that Steak & Eggs is one of my favorite breakfasts.  Anyway, to continue:

7) Virginians are buying guns and ammo in record numbers, and paying with cash — but yet they’re going to vote for some another Democrat and his gun control agenda in November, we’re told.

8) The Internet strikes again, and again — remind me again how we’re so much better off with technology.

9) Appeals court orders Arizona State to reinstate male student expelled for having a threesome — finally, some good news.  Just watch:  the Leftists are going to try and create national nookie control, next.  They’ve already started, on campuses...

Then again, I’m so old fashioned, I thought a threesome meant this:

…and not this: