Funny Stuff

Enter Boris

July 24, 2019 Kim du Toit Good Stuff, Mocking Furriners, Politics

I’ve always liked Boris Johnson — yeah, maybe it’s the Old Boy thing (Eton College was the “brother” school to St. John’s) — but what I like most of all is the predictable way the U.K. Left has responded to his accession to Number 10 Downing Street:

Just note that underneath Johnson’s jovial, stammering, Hooray-Henry exterior, there’s some serious intellect going on. (See here where he talks about Winston Churchill’s oratory.) In other words, he’s the complete opposite of ex-U.S. President (Half-)Black Jesus, underneath whose smooth and urbane exterior… not much was going on.

And if PM Boris can’t get Britishland out of the horrible European Union, the Brits deserve to get everything that happens to them.

Go Boris!

Pale Shadow

July 23, 2019 Kim du Toit Mocking Furriners

It appears that while once-Great Britain has been solving problems like plastic drinking straws and imposing taxes on milkshakes (!), their navy has been allowed to deteriorate into a motley collection of rowing boats, dinghies and canoes:

The Royal Navy has only ordered one aircraft carrier, a handful of offshore patrol vessels, five submarines, and a single new frigate for the next decade as a report says its force will get even smaller.
It comes as serious questions have been raised over Britain’s ability to defend itself following Iran seizing the UK-flagged tanker Stena Impero in the Strait of Hormuz.

In essence, the once-proud Royal Navy has allowed a British-flagged ship to be hijacked by a bunch of ragheads in a speedboat.

Of course, Uncle Sam will probably come to Britain’s aid again in protecting the sea lanes (see: WWI and WWII), but let’s hope that this altruism will not get in the way of the British government’s clown show (see: Brexit).

Feckless idiots.

July 22, 2019 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

This may quite possibly be the funniest “old fart” cartoon ever written.

…and you can find this guy’s funny stuff over here. Just hit the “Random” button to get more.

No need to thank me, it’s all part of the service.

News Roundup

July 19, 2019 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

1) Half of Germany sees Islam as a threat — the other half is Muslim.

2) POTUS tells Congressional Commies to fuck off back to Shitholia — ’bout time. There’s apparently some confusion about this: what he meant was that AOC should first try running Brooklyn in the way she wants to run the U.S.; ditto that Black chick for Boston, the Arab from Detroit, and the Black chick from Somalia / Minneapolis [some overlap]. Apparently, however, most Republicans understood his message perfectly.

3) Chuckie thinks that slavery reparations are a good idea — of course he does, the slimy little Commie fuck. Ever since Black Jesus left the White House, the Socialists have been scrambling to keep dem darkies on the plantation, and this seems to be the best they can do. (They can’t promise Black people actual jobs, of course — Trump’s already reduced Black unemployment.)

4) Congress under threat of attack — the cops want to increase security because Trump’s rhetoric may inflame sentiment against the Commie Congressmen. Where was all this concern when Bernie Bros and Pantifa threatened Republicans, e.g. Steve Scalise?

News Roundup

July 12, 2019 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

1) Woman dies when she falls onto an eco-friendly metal drinking straw which impales her in the eye — you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at this story. Or at this one:

2) Bankers are fired and get all sobby — that’s what happens when you don’t call in enough loans and fail to toss your quota of poor people out onto the street.

3) Irish man, 19, ‘is raped by two men in Magaluf after being kicked out of a brothel for having no money’ — I have no idea what the problem is, here: he was looking for some sex, wasn’t he?

4) Gay group wearing ‘lesbians are women’ t-shirts are removed by police from the National Theatre bar after a transgender staff member was offended by their views — I’m trying to think how it’s possible to fit more annoying shit into a single headline, but I can’t — unless Michelle Obama was the trannie.

5) Clinton confidante Epstein charged with arranging child prostitutes for friends — will be murdered or “commit suicide” in 3… 2… 1…

6) African leaders launched a continental free-trade zone on Sunday that if successful would unite 1.3 billion people, create a $3.4 trillion economic bloc and usher in a new era of development — it’s gonna fail. Africa wins again.

7) Older female rhinos are sent in to help young male get horny — redefines the meaning of “cougar”, dunnit? (I’m trying to visualize “older female rhinos” and “sex”, but all I can think of is Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters. Sorry.)