Category: Funny Stuff

Buh-Bye

Immigration, Mocking Furriners

As a wise man once said to me:  “Show me Paradise, I’ll buy us the tickets.”

Looks like this asshole didn’t find his Paradise:

A father-of-seven sales executive who moved his family from San Diego to Austin before moving back to California has been panned for his scathing op-ed complaining about the rude locals, the oppressive heat, the rain and the ‘bland’ culture.
…
Alder described Texas with its lower income taxes as a ‘conservative dystopia’ and said he felt cramped – even though his house was twice the size.
He listed a litany of ‘problems’ explaining why he decided to return West to the Bay Area including bad driving, the ‘lame’ car washes, the cost of living, the ‘monoculture that doesn’t seem to be aware of it’s own blandness’ and the fact he took his kids out of school because it was a ‘micro-managed military academy’.

But worst of all, he had to endure:

…cedar allergies, ‘terrible service’, the lack of places to hike and having to drive 40 minutes to a restaurant serving Southern Indian food.

Dude, to get anywhere in Austin takes a 40-minute drive, if you’re lucky.  (Kinda like [chortle]  San Jose, come to think of it.)

And if Austin (motto:  “Keep Austin Weird”) has a “monoculture”, it’s a good thing he didn’t settle anywhere else in Texas.  (Even better:  Bee Cave?  That area is so White, it makes Tide powder look mulatto.)

All in all, I can’t say Texas is sorry to see him and his family go.  Two less Democrat voters to worry about.

Welcome back to California, and tell all your buddies to stay there.  We have a surfeit of your kind here already.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Monday Morning (with apologies to R. Crumb)

So to help with the oncoming week, some levity:

Young Kim

And speaking of whom:

Speaking of prizes, here’s one worth keeping an eye on.  Someone named Barbara Bermudo:

Now get out there an grapple with the week.

Choices, Earlier

Mocking Furriners

With all the brouhaha surrounding the Ginger Prince’s choice of bride and concomitant embarrassment of The Oprah Interview, allow me to highlight a couple of his earlier long-time girlfriends:

 

I can’t help thinking that either of the above would have been better choices.  But that’s not all.

See, in the old days, the royals didn’t so much find soulmates as diplomatic alliances, arranged by the respective families.  So had the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Windsors followed established precedent, the Royal Ginger would now be hitched to any one of the following, for example:

Princess Alexandra of Luxembourg:

…although I think this multilingual diplomat would have been way over the Royal Ginger’s intellectual punching weight.

Princess Elisabeth von Thur und Taxis:

She’s older than Harry, but then so is Duchess Whinge.

Princess Theodora of Greece and Denmark:

The last is actually related to the current Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, but the royals have never let that kind of thing get in the way.  And she’s also an actress, so maybe that would have given her the inside track.

And had Harry wanted to be all woke ‘n stuff and marry outside the Ango-Saxon tent, there was always an outside chance of an arrangement with Princess Sirivannavari Nariratana of Thailand:

“Princess Siri” would cause all sorts of problems with Apple People nowadays, which just adds to the fun.

In any event, I can’t help but think that hitching up with any of the above would have had a better outcome for old Harry than what he’s tied to now.  And I’m fairly sure the other members of the Britishland Royal Family would agree with me.