As a wise man once said to me:  “Show me Paradise, I’ll buy us the tickets.”

Looks like this asshole didn’t find his Paradise:

A father-of-seven sales executive who moved his family from San Diego to Austin before moving back to California has been panned for his scathing op-ed complaining about the rude locals, the oppressive heat, the rain and the ‘bland’ culture.

Alder described Texas with its lower income taxes as a ‘conservative dystopia’ and said he felt cramped – even though his house was twice the size.
He listed a litany of ‘problems’ explaining why he decided to return West to the Bay Area including bad driving, the ‘lame’ car washes, the cost of living, the ‘monoculture that doesn’t seem to be aware of it’s own blandness’ and the fact he took his kids out of school because it was a ‘micro-managed military academy’.

But worst of all, he had to endure:

…cedar allergies, ‘terrible service’, the lack of places to hike and having to drive 40 minutes to a restaurant serving Southern Indian food.

Dude, to get anywhere in Austin takes a 40-minute drive, if you’re lucky.  (Kinda like [chortle]  San Jose, come to think of it.)

And if Austin (motto:  “Keep Austin Weird”) has a “monoculture”, it’s a good thing he didn’t settle anywhere else in Texas.  (Even better:  Bee Cave?  That area is so White, it makes Tide powder look mulatto.)

All in all, I can’t say Texas is sorry to see him and his family go.  Two less Democrat voters to worry about.

Welcome back to California, and tell all your buddies to stay there.  We have a surfeit of your kind here already.


  1. I wonder about his definition of culture. San Jose doesn’t make the top 100 on my list.

    1. He probably means having a choice of Hunan, Szechuan and Cantonese restaurants. Or being able to order between three types of tofu on his vegetarian burger.
      And his BBQ sauce is made in Maine.

      1. Three types of tofu. We’ve got that covered in KY. Soft, firm and bourbon. Just kidding, that last one is extra firm.

    1. Good. Texas and America will be far better off if those locusts stay in their blue state hell holes.

      I just hope that Free America will welcome like minded refugees from blue states.


  2. So have the Japanese owners of the company he works for fired him yet? I haven’t known them to be too keen on sales executives insulting millions of current and potential customers in social media, especially waiting for 4 years after moving back to CA to do so? Perhaps they should just aid him in his quest for good Southern Indian food by sending him to the sub-continent.

    1. That would be a good lesson for him about what he refers to as “oppressive heat” and the real thing.

  3. As my father would say,” Don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on your way out.”
    A win for Texas

  4. So, he moved to Texas and was disappointed with the culture, he could have traveled 64 miles West of Bee Cave to Luckenbach Texas which is a cultural high holy place in Texas. He could have taken the family up to Lake Travis visited ‘Hippie Hollow’, the only public nude beach in Texas, so much diversity in that area. Austin itself has a fantastic variety of Mexican and Barbecue restraunts but I would have avoided 6th street when taking the kids on an outing.

    I am ever so glad we have one less Dickhead and family living in Texas, now if more of them could head West it would be wonderful.

  5. So basically the reason he didn’t like Austin is because it’s filled with transplanted Californians.

  6. :…the lack of places to hike”

    Apparently no one told him about the numerous trails and state parks in the Texas Hill Country? You know, the area that includes Austin?

    I had some very nice days on some of the trails in several state parks between San Antonio and Austin.

    1. Would you have told this guy where anything is? Neither would I. I’m pretty sure his attitude shows on his face without him needing to say a word.

    2. Would you have told this guy where anything is? Neither would I. I’m pretty sure his attitude shows on his face without him needing to say a word.

  7. I always like to start out on Mondays with a happy note.

    These people clearly need to return to Cali.

    We’ve got great barbecue (in Memphis) and places to hike here in East TN (I’m 30 miles from the Great Smoky Mountains National Park), so I’m glad you didn’t send him our way, even though he would fit right in as yet another transplanted cuck in Nashville.

  8. Sadly, this libtard has bred beyond his replacement number. Seven spawn, all raised in the coastal embrace of gaia, diversity and tolerance.

    Ha ha, I just made that last one up.

Comments are closed.