You know you’re getting old (or perhaps you just need better focus), when you see this pic:
…and all you can think is, “Fuck, that’s an ugly holster!”
Category: Funny Stuff
Quote Of The Day
News Recap
…in which I summarize snippets of news that I couldn’t be bothered to spend more time over.
- Disney Corporation reinstates some director I’ve never heard of to make a movie I’m never going to see — yeah, whatever. Falling tree, meet forest.
- Gummint assholes make a guy park somewhere else and try to destroy his business because his bumper sticker hurt their feewings — actually, his bumper sticker (Black Rifles Matter) simultaneously satirizes an anarcho-racist movement and makes a pro-Constitutional freedom statement. Anyone know where I can get one?
- Piers Morgan talks a load of bullshit (again) — I know, not really news. [totally unnecessary warning: link contains Piers Morgan]
- Chelsea Clinton accused of helping incite New Zealand massacre — you couldn’t cut irony this thick with a chainsaw.
- Senator Elizabeth Warren (1/1024 part-Cherokee) has no sympathy for parents who attempted to corrupt the college admissions process — where can I get my chainsaw sharpened?
- The French are revolting (again) — there’s only one answer to all this for granny-grabbing FrogPM Macron: ban the weekend! And finally:
- Kids skip classes (but for a “good cause”) — creates two (largely rhetorical) questions: 1) given how totally shit the public school system is (regardless of country), was this absence actually a better thing for the kids? and 2) will this mass walkout actually achieve anything concrete in affecting “climate change”? (All those who attempted to answer “yes” to the latter question, put on the Dunce cap and go stand in the corner.)
Cartoon of the week (via Insty, thence Power Line):
Think of it as visual evidence of this thesis.
Comment Of The Day
…does not come from this website, for a change. As we all know, Georgia was smacked by a couple tornadoes a little while ago, and while there was a lot of damage, this house miraculously escaped, pretty much unscathed, despite being directly in the tornado’s path.
And in the comments below the article came this absolute gem:
Dude… Seriously?
Is it so wrong that this headline made me howl with laughter?
Argentine doctor is arrested for ‘masturbating on a 27-year-old patient’s back while performing an ultrasound on her genitals’
I’m creating the visual, here… sorry, I have to go to the toilet because otherwise my pants will become unsanitary.
Okay, I’m better now.
However, there is a serious aspect to this episode. Using gun restrictionists’ logic, therefore, we need to ban these assault ultrasound devices (“assault” in that they enable perverts to sexually assault their female patients) and furthermore, all doctors should have to pass a state background check for masturbatory impulses.
Hey, if it can save just one back from being jizzed on, right?
Eucalyptus Now
Can anyone else hear the hoofbeats? No? Then read this appalling news:
They were the must-have accessory of the eighties and nineties but quickly fell out of fashion.
And now the humble bum bag, also known in the US as the fanny pack, has made a surprising comeback with top designers and celebrities championing the once wildly-mocked accessory.
Fashion houses such as Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton have all showcased bum bags on the catwalk.
And unlike the garish bright, polyester styles of the eighties and nighties, designers have given the accessory a sophisticated makeover with smart leather styles often called ‘belt bags’.
And if that isn’t enough to turn your stomach:
Style-savvy models and celebrities have been spotted donning this sought-after accessory, including Taylor swift who was spotted sporting the ‘Ophidia’ bag by Gucci over the weekend.
Oy vey. (No pics, because I refuse to be responsible for mass projectile vomiting.)
All that said, I have to confess to owning one of these horrible things. It’s made of polyester, it’s in my SHTF bin, and it holds five 10-round 1911 magazines. For emergency use only, when I don’t care what I look like and there are multiple goblins to be shot.