Category: Friday Feature

Ranked in ascending order of bad:

• All guns are always loaded.
• Speaking your mind at your job may make you feel all righteous and stuff, but the boss may not feel the righteousness.
• Ditto your wife.
• You will not be respected in the morning.
• Despite all the hoopla about it, sex with a virgin is terrible, with all that pain and crying, regret and recrimination.  And it’s even worse with a girl.

Your suggestions in Comments.

..and my apologies for posting this so close to breakfast time:

…and the absolute worst:

Ol’ Bill must have been drunk out of his mind to pick this one.

In ascending order of “you’re gonna get fired”:

• “Screw what H.R. says.”
• “When I was in San Quentin…”
• “My project will come in well over budget and a year late.”  (unless you’re a liberal politician, in which case you’ll be just fine;  you might even get a promotion)
• “I’m sorry about the affair with your wife, but…”  (bonus points if you’re a woman)
• “On our next business trip together, bring some edible panties… again.”

Your contributions in Comments.  Bonus points if your contribution ever got you actually fired.