5 Worst Places To Lose Your Car Keys

Ranked in order of foulness / inconvenience:

  • inside your mistress’s apartment when you have to get home quickly to take your daughter to her school ballet performance
  • down your kitchen sink when the garbage disposal is running
  • when it’s 1am and you’re inside a parking garage in downtown Johannesburg
  • down a public toilet in Mumbai, India
  • inside a Kardashian.

Your suggestions in Comments.


  1. When you just packed the trunk of your car, running late to catch a flight to France, non-refundable ticket, and you slam the lid of down locking everything just as you notice your keys inside. Happened to a friend of mine, no automatic trunk opener on cheap rental car.

  2. Inside the house, on your dresser, just after a big fight with the wife culminating in you storming out of the house and slamming the door.

  3. Many years ago my boss and I were rushing to a big conference in Canberra. Outside our hotel, we threw our bags into the boot (trunk) of our rental car. Went to get something out of my bag and dropped the keys on the floor of the boot, rummaged in my bag, stood up and my boss slammed the lid and said let’s go. Had a very detailed spontaneous performance review over the next hour while we waited for the AA guy to come and help. We were sitting in the car, when he turns up, reaches in, opens the glove box and pushes the boot release. ****sigh**** got a laugh from about 2,000 people later in the day when the boss was doing his speech

  4. IMHO the only way you can lose your car keys inside a Kardashian is to lose the car too.

    Many many years ago when GM had separate ignition and trunk keys I thought that I lost the trunk key to my dad’s 64 Buick. Bad part was that the trunk was full of beer that we’d bought on a buddy’s phony ID. A day or two later we found the key in the rubber weather stripping around the trunk lid. Drove the car over to the friend’s house, retrieved the beer, and went about our business – and had a beer to celebrate our narrow escape.

    1. Be glad the beer didn’t cook off as happened to a classmate.

      In some alignment of the planets, “tapper” kegs and Ford Mustangs arrived on the scene in Spring of ‘64 or ‘65.
      A classmate’s father had recently bought a shiny black Mustang which he allowed friend to drive to school soon after. Well nothing would do but for friend, an aspiring inebriate, to finagle a keg and put in the trunk. All went well with showing off the car and hoisting a brew between classes. Then the noontime sun kicked in. Keg popped drenching the trunk with beer and permeating the interior with the smell of B-DOUBLE E-R!
      No recollection of how the car thereafter passed a smell test much less any follow-on consequences. Further adventures were on the horizon. Friends father was indeed the Old Man as he was career Navy with a more recalcitrant son being whipped into shape at “Charm School” in Annapolis. Between the two sons, family gatherings and reminiscences must be a hoot!

  5. I once did lose my car keys inside a Kardashian. Seriously.

    I should have known better than to try this without first tying a rope around my waist, but as I was sticking my arm in to feel around for them, I slipped and fell in.

    Fortunately I had my cellphone in my pocket so I turned it on in flashlight mode to help look for the keys. But as soon as the light came on, I heard a voice coming from back near the cervix shouting “Who’s there?”

    So I shouted back, “Sorry to disturb, I’m just looking for my car keys.”

    And the voice answered, “Hell, we don’t need no car, just come back here and hand-prop this ol’ Cub for me and I’ll fly us both outta here!”

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