Category: Bad News

Today’s Roundup is sponsored by:

And off we go, guns blazing:

…man should have got a medal instead of jail, but let’s not go there.

…fuck you, Secretary Buttplug.

…and not just Europe, either.  As usual, Orban has it right.

…it is.  You lot are going to get flattened.

And now a double feature (no link) from the groves of academe:

…note that Teacher Of The Year #1 is a woman, as was the student, while #2 was just some dirty old (heterosexual) man.  And #1 is fugly, even for a lesbian.

…why not add the number of wee lambs saved, just to be doubleplusextra virtuous?

…at first reading, I thought it said “Gun disease”, but that’s just my old-man eyes, not dementia.  I think.

…actually, Daddy Dearest got whacked because he was a total asshole — the Bible thing was just the final straw.

…our Feelgood Story Of The Day.

…key word:  Iranian.

And in INSIGNIFICA:

   …under the “No Eggs Before the King Law” of 1427.

And finally:

…in the Biblical sense, no doubt.  And some pics of said houri:

 

Now granted, at age 27 she’s a little old for him;  but maybe the boy wants to settle down with someone closer to his own age (47).

And if that ain’t news, I don’t know what is.

Thanks to Reader Bob H, this Roundup is sponsored by:

…my preferred mixer with the breakfast gin.

But let’s get angrier still:

…let’s hear it for Corporate America, at the forefront of protecting our Constitutional rights.

…in other news, nor did the maiden voyage of S.S. Titanic.

And:

…Russians not being known for their ability to swim whilst tied to an anvil.

…except that “mail-in” ballots have yet to be counted, and we all know how that goes.

…I scored 18.  No cheating.

…to the surprise of precisely… nobody.  But is it all Trump’s fault?

Train Smash Update:

…not much to see other than a mombod and jailhouse-quality tattoos.

…

…finally, commonsense over tolerance.

…our Feelgood Story Of The Day.

From the Department of Nooky:

…sadly, no mention of public flogging.

…ignore Mommy’s screams, Jimmy — she really likes it when I put it in there.

And in link-free INSIGNIFICA:

 

And finally:

…“Who she?” you ask.  Why, a presenter of BritTV kids’ programs.

   

And therewith, we end the news.

Brought to you by:

And on we go, pissing into the wind:

…get fucked, you ghastly Canucki watermelon.

…and off to Chicago they go, every last one of them.

…to quote another rich liberal asshole:  “You say you want a revolution…”

…if by “overthrow” you mean “vote out of office and reduce its size”, then yes.  The actual  executions will happen later.

…key words:  South Africa and illegal immigrants.

…Africa wins again.

…Africa wins again, again.

…wait a minute:  this was in Ireland?

…can you spell “HORRIBLE SLUT“, children?  Of course you can.

…she should have bought a lottery ticket instead of hosting a double-header.

And in INSIGNIFICA:

…ah yes, Rachel:  the only reason to watch Brit TV’s boring Countdown.

 

     

 

And before the Jewry among you start to kvetch :  yes, I know she’s Tribe.

…which brings us to the end of the news.