Category: Bad News

And speaking of women needing Nervine:

...maybe with each other, but no man should.  And then there’s this:

...I don’t know if there’s enough Nervine left for this one — unless she’s the one who cornered the stuff.

Now for some Good Tidings:

And in Election News:

...keyword:  Russia — but coming soon to a polling place near you.

...I guess “We’re totally fucked” was judged to be too inappropriate a summary.

In Legal Notes:

...well, “Jesus” told me she needs a swift cunt punt, but I managed to control myself.

...proving that when it comes to the law nowadays, there’s no room for facts and sanity.

...let’s hear it for the Second Amendment.

In Millennial News:

...well, except that it’s not your fucking money — yet — so they can spend it on whatever they want… you selfish asshole.

In Sporting News:

...and that’s just for the Swedish Olympic team.

...not that anyone would notice, or care.

And when it comes to  

...you don’t say, Jen!  Here she was, back then: 

...and here’s what she looks like today, around 51:

Still quite toothsome with, I suspect, a teensy-weensy bit of  surgical help.

And that’s the news.

And speaking of that White bread stuff:

...actually, I’m cool with that, just as long as “Black people” then become ineligible to get any kind of government support, welfare, MediCare or Social Security.  Everyone’s always talking about “fairness” — well that’s fair:  don’t pay in, don’t get anything out.  (Also, define “Black”:  Black, half-Black, quarter-Black, octoroon… where do you draw the line, and how?)

In Election News:

...forget it, Jake;  it’s Carville.

...man, I bet ol’ Donald’s going to miss those dozens of Pence supporters in November.

...has anyone seen Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face lying around?

From the International News desk:

...nothing like a little UN and NGO “assistance”, is there?

...just another DEI initiative.  If they’re not gonna breed, they may as well fight.
#Equality

Time for an update on Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...what happens when you buy into a hoax instead of looking at reality, where nobody wanted to rent the fucking things.

...and for those pissed-off French, German, Dutch, Spanish and Belgian farmers, this:

From the Dept. of Labor:

...which is all well and good.  But did Tyson not just admit to breaking the law?

In other Business News:

...you have to ask yourself who would be that poor that they have to shoplift from Dollar G.

Time for some Crazy-Assed Shit News:

...I bet she’ll never use that dating app again.  Also keyword:  Georgia, and not Florida.

...and here I thought she could only have got it by banging someone who worked at the place.

And in matters of 

 

...seems that she’d not want that part of her life publicized;  but here we are.  And of course, she used to be a TV journalist (a group not exactly renowned for their chastity)… but she looks kinda wholesome — about a 7-8 or so:

And if that’s the news, we’re done.

And speaking of speeding:

...”than expected” is now de rigueur in statements like this.

From our Crime Reports:

...reminding me of my support of the death penalty for pedophilia.

...I guess all those anti-cop defunding laws are working out just as we expected, but they didn’t.

...keywords:  New Orleans.

...keywords:  Los Angeles.

...keyword:  wait — Brooklyn?

This week’s PANIC ATTACK!!:

…wait, what happened to Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© and The Next Big Pandemic?

In Woke News:

...yeah, just follow the link if you don’t believe me.

In the Heart Of Stone Dept.:

...quit that unseemly giggling, willya?

… (no link)

...and when I read success stories like this, it makes me proud to be an American.

...Terrible Tragedy or Great Escape?  I report, you decide.

And in a world of 

...that’s no way to talk about London.

 

Let’s start out with a trip aboard this week’s EVERYBODY PANIC!!! Express:

...note the weasel words “might be”.  (PFA = Pretty Fucking Awful — it’s a scientific term.)

And here’s something to make the Frogs and other Euros panic:

...won’t happen, of course;  the Frogs will just cheat those 13 points away.
[#Biden2020]

Meanwhile, just over the French border :

...keyword:  Belgium.

In Health News:

…and for once I’m not being sarcastic.

...[insert “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” joke here]

In the Unforeseen Circumstances section:

...Jeffery Epstein was unavailable for comment.  And more from Boeing Land:

...leaking like their profit margins, no doubt, the woke DEI bastards.
#SellBoeingStock

Some more Wokery Titbits:

...aaaaaannndddd this would also be the time to sell those CVS shares in your portfolio.

...well, let’s pause here and spare a thought for all those boyfriends and husbands who are caught in the fallout.

...let ’em eat carrots.

Our Advice Column:

...spoiler alert:  it’s 85.  Or should be.

And now, in link-free 

 

...typo, perhaps?
#BadEyes #OldFart

Apparently, the Princess of Wales has been busted for altering a family pic:

And finally, speaking of fine superstructures, here’s Canucki chick Mikayla Demaiter:

And that’s it for the news.

And off we go into Truthsville:

...when you have to rely on Russians for the truth…

...excellent news.  Of course, there are some holdouts:

...this all started when NJ instituted “pistol permit” fees;  proof that you should never allow Gummint to create a new revenue source because once in, it never goes away and can always be used for their, and not your benefit.

And speaking of anti-gunners:

...you’d think that being married to Mrs. Heinz Ketchup would give Fuckface some security against being a paid agent of the Commies, but I’m guessing China’s sponsorship predates the nuptials.

...as Audi does a Jaguar.

...no doubt a result of the Great Cultural Assimilation Project, but either way:

In Political News:

...a) why do we even listen to anything this asshole says, and b) who is this Katie Britt person?

And speaking of people we should be ignoring:

...somebody explain to me why a “pre-60s world” would be so bad.  Nobody?  Thought so.

...probably the only truly funny thing this so-called comedienne has said in in the past forty years.

From the Great Anti-Woke Revolution:

...oh, the temerity of voters to oppose the Great And The Good.  Also:

...LOL the Wannabe Men slap down the Wannabe Women.

From the Police Files:

...can anyone argue that whatever his sentence, it should include weekly ball-kickings?  Nobody?  Thought not.  And ditto this asshole:

...said ball-kicking to occur while awaiting execution, of course.  Oh wait… it’s Britishland.  Two-day suspended sentence coming in 3… 2… 1...

And now we have some

    

…no, it’s not an example of bad track-laying.  The simple addition of the word “fallen” will clarify the matter.

Let’s end with some Hottie News:

...oh yeah, some hemi-centenary Roller Girl action.

And that’s the news roundup for today.

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