News Roundup

They’ll never catch on.   Anyway, speaking of lies:

Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:

...because if all they spoke was the truth, there’d be no “climate change” doctrine, period.

...for “planet” read “Catholic Church”.

...and the Taiwanese yawnAlso, F- for the fucking awful puns.

In the Dept. of Irony: pot, meet kettle.  (Vince Foster and Jeffrey Epstein were unavailable for comment.)

In Technology News:

...[yawn] let me know when they come in .45 ACP.

From the Tourism Bureau:

...thus making Europe’s most expensive hotels now stratospheric.

In Political News:

...and yet, amazingly, in that 11-day period he’s still managed to vote fifteen times, three times each per bill.

...I’m hoping for a higher death toll, myself.  (no link because PPV)

...I’m just amazed that there’s a Target still open in St. Louis.

From the Dept. of Health:

...and he was related to her.

And from the Dept. of Education:

...because grades are so, like, rayciss. which we play our ever-popular game of “Guess The Race”.

...or even with young boys.

In the department known as 


Finally. on Paige Three:

...let’s see what’s so bad about this bikini, shall we, that FecesBook is getting agitated:

Nope;  not much more to see here (other than the usual).  And from the recently-finished tournament at Augusta National:

You most certainly can, sweetheart.  And that’s the news.


  1. A recent bit of data. The last 6 month in Antarctica have been the coldest recorded and possibly the coldest in several thousand years.

  2. I had to reread News Roundup several times because the pictures of Paige Spiranac made me forget all the witticisms and commentary I had for the news articles. Damn, it happened again. Once more into the breech

  3. About Darling Paige’s contretemps with Meta: I have noticed that Facebook has been feeding (me, at least) more eye candy (including out-and-out full-frontal nudes) lately. Evidence/testimony in her defense, if you will.

  4. Concerning the pending Dem convention in Chicago. Would that Richard Daley were still alive and in charge. Some stomp and drag, some skull cracking, and HUGE amounts of tear gas, might be just the thing to shake the Windy City out of its doldrums.

  5. No one gets “rocked” by a 2.5 earthquake. It’ll rattle the pictures on the wall, and make you wonder “Was that a tremor?”, but that’s it.

    Chicagos mayor Brandon Johnson is likely already figuring out where he’ll be hiding during the Democratic Convention. He won’t do a damn thing about the throngs of protestors who say they’re coming. And if terrorists hit the city (real ones, not college kids or antifa (some overlap)), he’ll just dive in a hole and no one will see him until groundhog day.

    Paige need to get them boobs inside the bikini in order to get ’em pushed up and together. That’s the only problem I see with the pics.

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