And then you have this prize pair of morons, who insist on giving us (via The Sun ) oretty much a thrust-by-thrust account of their sex life during one of the many lockdowns in the recent past, e.g.:
Day 3: We’ve been at it like rabbits
LISA says: It’s the first week into our second lockdown and tensions are already rising from being cooped up together, but we are both really eager to give this experiment a go.
We stocked up with lockdown supplies – and no, I don’t mean loo roll. We’re being playful with each other, and we’re focusing more on foreplay.
When we’ve disagreed, we’ve had sex. For these few days, we’ve been at it like rabbits. We’re often slinging our gear on to the floor and jumping straight into bed.
During the first lockdown, morning sex was unheard of, but now we’re squeezing that in too.
We really want to take our relationship to the next level, so we have asked each other about our fantasies too.
As if government-imposed home arrest (lockdowns) aren’t enough of a problem, they’ve also given us this kind of nonsense.
If I was cooped up with either of them, the greatest risk would be murder or else suicide. The fact that they give us their real names is proof, as though any were needed, of their utter shamelessness. (“Spike van der Merwe” — a South African surname, btw — is way too fucked-up to be fictitious.)
I think that in the interests of justice, every time a politician suggests a lockdown, he or she should be forced to spend the entire lockdown period with one of these two, depending on gender or orientation. (Lesbianists with Spike, homos with Lisa.)
The lockdown would be measured in hours, not weeks.
