Best opening in a news article*:
This week, Matt Meyer did what many parents long to do. He dropped off his kid at school. That’s unusual in Berkeley, California, where he lives, because the schools there have been closed for a year, and the teachers’ union adamantly opposes their reopening. Parents like Mr. Meyer who can afford private schools, which are mostly open, send their kids there. His child has been there since last June. So he dropped off his child and drove off to his job.
His job is head of the Berkeley teachers’ union. His main task there is to keep the public schools closed for everyone else.
[insert “fucking hypocrite” joke here]
*so far. “Barack Obama dies painfully” would beat it.