Author: Kim du Toit

Euphemistically Speaking

Grammar Nazism

Whenever I see a euphemism, it sets my teeth on edge — probably because as a plain speaker, I try to follow the late Roger Moore’s dictum that the essence of communication is to express your thoughts as clearly and succinctly as possible.

Here’s one that made me chuckle, however:

…you mean “sucked into”, of course.  “Ingested” means taken or introduced into the mouth — one ingests the milk from a glass, or the medicine from a teaspoon, etc.  Also, “ingest” is largely a transitive verb, in that it requires an agent to perform the action — turning it into the passive voice, as here, actually implies no agency — except that as we all know, jet engines “ingest” air in order to propel the aircraft body.

But the writer of the above wanted to try to avoid using the graphic word “suck”, and so resorted to a woolly euphemism.

This is not a hanging offense, of course, but a simple ball-kicking should suffice.

Si, Ragazzi!

Drive Time

Finally, a bit of good news:

Fiat has confirmed it has stopped producing cars in one particular colour – not due to a lack of demand from customers but because it doesn’t represent the brand’s ‘New Dolce Vita’ values, the Italian firm said.

And that offensive color?

As of today, the company will no longer sell grey cars.

Oh, be still my beating heart.  And why not grey?

Fiat said the decision has been made to ‘enhance the importance of colours in life, embodying the Italian way of living’.

Let’s be honest, I don’t think anyone associates the color grey with Italy or Italians.

If grey can be associated with any nation, it has to be Britishland, mostly because of their gloomy weather but also because of their instinct for self-effacement and distaste for anything that reeks of “flashy”.

And right on cue:

But the move could significantly backfire when it comes to demand for new Fiats in Britain, with grey being the nation’s most popular car colour for half a decade.

Ugh.  Enough of the gloomy greys, say I, and let’s get back to some… Italian colors.

 

Yeah, that’s more like it.

News Roundup

Bad News

And speaking of guns:


...or it might be time for Tulsa to trade this asshole for someone who actually supports the Second Amendment.

In Pervo/Groomer News:


...and why are we just not surprised by this?


...Idaho?  These sick fucks are everywhere.

But finally, a voice of reason rings out:


...and so say all of us.

RAAYYYYYCISM ALERT:


...in which we play Guess The Professor’s Race — and for a bonus, its sexual inclination.

In Entertainment [sic] News:


...from Britishland, where politicians routinely interfere in places where they have no business.  Not that we have any room to talk, here in Murka.


...clearly not (see next item).


...is there any form of stupidity (e.g. Communism and now Global Cooling Climate Warming Change) that ol’ Hanoi Jane won’t support?

And from our International Desk:


...keyword:  Japan.


…keyword:  Australia.


...may be the winner of the “Most Fucked-Up Headline Of 2023” competition — but it’s still only June, and Biden’s still in office.

And speaking of that, more (link-free) INSIGNIFICA:

 

...and knowing Gwynnie, it’s of her stanky love tunnel.


...who she?  We’ve seen her here on these pages before — and a reminder:

 

Oh yeah:  her.  And the “breathtaking” outfit:

A tasty end to the news, yes?

Final Notice

Friends and Family

…as the moneylenders say.

This is the last week of the annual “Stop GlobalMegaBankCorp From Throwing Kim Into Debtor’s Prison” fundraiser.

Give like it’s the last call before the Apocalypse*.

*Okay, I’m not quite sure what that means, either, but imagine that this poor girl needs clothing, and give accordingly.

Here We Go Again

Bad News, Two-Minute Hate

…and from the Usual Suspects, the usual stupid questions:

Barack Obama has questioned why the Titan sub tragedy that killed five men has received wall-to-wall media coverage – while a boat sinking with 700 refugees on board has been ignored.

Why?  I’ll tell you why:  nobody cares about African peasants drowning because a.) they’re peasants and b.) it happens all the time.

Yeah, it’s unfair and blah blah blah “equity” yadda yadda “untenable”, but the fact is that a tragedy involving wealthy people visiting arguably the most famous (and tragic) shipwreck in history thousands of feet below the surface is more newsworthy than the drownings of (yet another) boatload of illegal immigrants — I’m sorry, I mean undocumented travelers / refugees / asylum-seekers — who are invading Europe on a daily basis.

And the final thing:  not everything is about being Black, you disgusting race hustler.