News Roundup

(no sponsor this week, so I’ll just invent one:)

I wish.  Anyway, let’s fire away [sic] :


a.k.a. Why Kim Left South Africa.


ummmm feeling a little conflicted here, Boss.


wait, you ate street food in Bangladesh? LOLZ

And speaking of inedible food:


excellent news because on the whole, Hershey makes the world’s worst-tasting chocolate.

From the Dept. of Unwelcome Settlers:


welcome to our world, compadres.  Every single thing you don’t like about them, we don’t like either. 
(Signed)  Texas, Arizona, Florida, Utah, Idaho, Colorado and a couple others.


and then the screws locked down the women’s block.  I report, you decide.


no.  Nice try.  But if we’re going to go down that road, first let’s ban you fuckers from using private jets:  fly commercial.  And sell off your exotic car collections, while you’re there.


in the “Custer Killed By Indians” Breaking News department.


leading to the inevitable:  “YOU HAD ONE JOB!”


“Husband Kills Himself In Delivery Room.”

And in INSIGNIFICA:

 


and to nobody’s surprise, the last survivor is:

Finally:


I dunno, man;  seems kind of a waste to meAnd isn’t she Colombian?

And that’s all the news that’s fit to be taxed.

8 comments

  1. I’m sure I missed the memo / update / bulletin / meeting BUT……..
    could someone explain to me WHAT, in the name of Geronimo’s
    hemorrhoids, is the REASON for Pelosi’s trip to China ??
    I find nothing in the Speaker’s job description so …… what is it ?
    Is Binden’s check late ??

  2. Let’s go down the list, shall we?

    First, China: they bluster and rant about how they’re going to eff-up out sh*t, then try to get on our good side by offering to take care of our Pelosi problem. Not so fast, Chinaman! You’re going to have to do better than that, like admitting you were the source of Covid after all.

    Second, Mexico is p.o.’d about Americans moving south to take up residence. Now they know how we feel about them coming north. At least Americans have money to spend.

    Third, KFC is running out of chicken. Is that what they’ve been selling? Really? Who’d have thought!

  3. Shakira is Colombian. However, for a few years she was going out with a Soccer star playing for a Spanish team. Spain says she lived in Spain for more than half the years during her relationship, and therefore was a resident, and therefore owes taxes.

  4. ‘White people will be the first target’
    Stupid people do stupid stuff and never learn from their mistakes.
    I guess they’ll have to change the country’s name from South Africa to South Zimbabwe.
    Mugabe would be proud, Piss Be Upon Him.

  5. So Elvis pressured Priscilla into a relationship.
    What was it called when her mother was living the life of an army wife in Germany and made sure Priscilla was made up to look as much like Anne Margaret as possible because she knew Elvis was really hung up on Anne Margaret?

  6. That lassie with twin twins? The article says she already has a sprog and the father has two. Seven in a three-bed house is going to be a wee bit crowded!

  7. I guess the WEF shoulda coulda woulda assholes can’t see the irony of their effort to
    “save democracy” by issuing edicts from their perch on Mt. Olympus, where they arrived in their carbon belching private jets.
    I think their idea of Democracy must be the kind of Democracy in Democratic People’s Republic of [name the shithole]

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