Vandalism

We know that of all the games played in the world, snooker is the worst offender, environmentally-speaking.

Okay, if it isn’t, then how would one explain this activity?

One’s initial reaction to this little silliness, of course, runs to hanging or impalement.  But snooker’s a gentle game, so I think a gentler punishment is called for, something not as extreme.

So if we all agree that flogging is appropriate, then the only remaining question is:

How many strokes? 

Your recommendations in Comments.  I’ll open the bidding at 50.


…and seeing as there are female vandals involved, let’s not forget #MeToo:

It’s only fair and equitable.

26 comments

  1. Yes, an ass beating is due, consisting of multiple broken bones and numerous lacerations requiring stitches. The use of blunt, metal like objects, about the head and shoulders area is encouraged.

    Then restitution, of course, and lengthy community service, perhaps at least 1000 hours, in outdoor environs.

  2. Seems to me that if you jump on the table to disrupt the game, the players should have every right to beat you senseless with their pool cues.

    1. Wot? and bend or break their cues? Now that everyone wears trainers you can’t even give someone a good kicking.

  3. Flog until unconscious, then repeat when they are revived, for as many years as there are balls on a snooker table at the start of a game.
    Mind that doesn’t include the theoretical balls of the “protestors” as they lack those.

  4. I am a Crabby Old Fart, set in my ways, and not known for my genteel manners. When I eat, I mostly use the utensils provided, (fork, spoon, etc.,) as opposed to fingers. I keep my elbows off the table. I still use terms like “Yes, Sir” and “No, Ma’am” because I remember the feel of my Mama’s hand up-side my head if I didn’t.

    Beyond that, my manners are more “biker bar” and “dirt road.” If I were one of the participants in the game, my reaction would be to crack the interloper over the head with the fat end of my cue. I wouldn’t beat on him like a Buddy Rich drum solo (I said I was old,) but I would probably continue the beating until the cue broke. Then I’d make him clean up the mess he made and ask him to apologize to the ladies.

  5. I’m thinking sodomize the bastard with a broke off cue handle, splintery end first. Once that motion becomes tiresome, beat him over the head with it, making sure he gets plenty of his ass matter to the face. Repeat until he’s dead. Repeat with as many of his associates as you can find. Post the video online.

  6. 50 lashes? 1000 hours of community service? These sound far more lenient.

    These are eco terrorists and they need significant rehabilitation. I’m thinking ball peen hammer to various bones, joints etc.

    JQ

  7. The types of events that I patronize would result in quick, thorough summary justice

    The hippie would be happy to be taken into custody by authorities and wish they had intervened sooner

  8. The Royal Navy knew how to handle such things back when the tall ships were around.

  9. I recall an incident from the 90s when a teenaged American punk was busted in Aisa (Singapore?) for vandalizing & robbing a number of cars, if I recall correctly. He was sentenced to having his bare ass caned a number of times, setting off self-righteous caterwauling about the uncaring brutalities of Asian culture v. Western enlightenment. Kid got his ass beat, resulting in permanent scarring as I recall. I’ll wager it forced his head out of his ass right quick.

    1. I was working for a Global Megacorp during that time, which had a factory in Singapore. It was quite the discussion. For that era’s “woke” employees, most of them felt like he got what he deserved.

    2. yes it was Singapore and I was in college at the time. I believe Michael Faye and I are close in age but enjoy vastly different pastimes then and probably now. That little prepuce got what he earned. If anything he got off lightly

      JQ

  10. If they’re so concerned about oil, just send them somewhere where they can live without oil. West Falkland comes to mind…

  11. First he needs to made to clean the table as best he can and to prove the orange powder was environmentally friendly he’ll have to eat some of it. Then the public whipping. 50 strokes sounds good to me. Then he has to pay for the rest of the cleaning/re-covering of the table.

  12. I’m with the herd here.

    Brain him with a pool cue.

    I can’t fathom what the point of this was. Protest for oil at a pool match?

    Would those spectators and viewer be a receptive audience?

    We really live in a stoopid age.

  13. 147 would seem to be an appropriate number.

    But somehow impalement with a snooker cue is more satisfying.

    And probably more educational for the cunt.

  14. I think this situation calls for some modern art.

    Build a plexiglass cube, place idiot inside box, place snooker table upside down on top of idiot, display box suspended in the air in a public place.

  15. Meanwhile in Kansas City Mo.

    “84-Year-Old Is Charged in Shooting of Black Teenager Who Went to Wrong House”

    Fuckin right he did. “Went to wrong house.”

  16. All this seems a bit bad tempered, why not simply break his arms and throw him down the front steps?

  17. Public gallows, a few short steps from the jurors.
    .
    As a volunteer, I elect to use an ‘elevator’ along the lines of a winch on a boat-trailer.
    A crank or two, and I absolutely require a rest.
    Perhaps a coffee.
    Another couple-three cranks, and I need to sample the potato salad and cole-slaw brought by the ladies.
    Refreshed, I am good for another round of cranks.
    .
    With me in-charge of recidivism-prevention, the festivities could take all day.

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