… that happen when you’re getting old and confused, and make a shopping list to help you remember why you’re out driving your car.
- You read “Scope” on the list, and end up buying both the mouthwash AND that cute little 4x Leupold that’s on sale at Bass Pro.
- There’s an item called “Gum” on the list. Because you left your reading glasses at home and refuse to ask for help, you buy both Doublemint AND a .22 rifle at Academy, just to be on the safe side.
- You see “Screwdriver” on the list, so you stop off at Lowe’s AND get arrested for DUI on the way home.
Don’t even ask me what happens when you read “Coke”…
This getting old thing ain’t for the faint of heart, lemme tell ya.
Manchester United were thrashed by Liverpool 5-0 over the weekend, leading to brilliant jokes like this one:
It;s not often I burst into uncontrollable laughter when reading SOTI, but this one made me do it.
For my Murkin Readers who don’t get the joke, here are some links:
Alex Ferguson — Sarah Ferguson — Black-Eyed Peas
News fresh off the
…I’d prefer that instead of jail they should be locked inside a burning police car, but no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this suggestion.
…doesn’t matter how far it reaches; nobody’s going to be prosecuted, much less jailed or executed for their fucking treason.
…I guess it’s not all bad news today. Oh, wait:
…don’t tell us, tell it to the fucking Chinese.
…because of the fucking Chinese.
…yeah, but unless “live ammo” is part of the order, it’s fucking useless.
…nothing like taxing income before you’ve earned it.
Enough of that depressing shit. Let’s look at the important news:
…as a preliminary guess, my diagnosis would be “fucking psycho” [pun intended]
…wonder no more, fuckwit.
And some INSIGNIFICA:
…the last winning the “No Shit, Sherlock Award” for 2021.
…you had me at “Christina Hendricks”:
Email from Longtime Friend Gibby:
“Idiots are working as ‘armorers’ on film set… You should be doing this work and not idiots (don’t care who her dad was!). Reach out — I’m am sure you could get this sort of piece work (forgive the horrible pun…) if you put your resume out?”
No doubt I could. Except that it would probably require that I:
- live in California and
- work in Hollywood, which in turn would mean
- being exposed to show business people, and
- paying taxes to the State of California.
Nope. They’d have to pay me more than they pay Alec Baldwin — and I still wouldn’t do that.
Let ’em all kill each other.
Here’s an interesting thing:
The decrease was identified during the Holocene era when human began to form social groups instead of living individually. This allowed them to share information instead of storing it.
By that process, modern brains must be shrinking exponentially as the Internet Effect becomes information-sharing on steroids.
Which would explain rap music and TikTok “influencers”.
I love stories like this one:
[A] North Dakota woman understood that, and even after taking out an order of protection against her on-again, off-again boyfriend after he allegedly assaulted her and threatened to kill her, she chose to have friends around in case her ex showed up at her apartment.
One of said friends happened to be packing a .357 Mag revolver when the off-again boyfriend showed up with malice in his heart, and the rest is history.
For true justice to take place, however, there should also be some kind of legal penalty for the asshole judge who let this choirboy out on parole, despite a history of violence.