News Roundup

…summarized for your convenience.

nobody laugh, because we’re quite capable of doing the same here.  Remember these assholes?

“We had to kill a few people to save them from spreading Covid.”  Now where have I heard something like that before?

wouldn’t pay 300 cents for it, but that’s just me.

and she looks pretty much as you’d expect her to look.

because only socialists can be racist, you see.

there he goes, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations of him.  Moron.

you have to sympathize with the photographer: 

That’s Mayor Lightweight with ILGov Fatboi in the background.  No matter which one you choose to blur, the pic’s going to be a fucking nightmare

As an aside, I want to dispel the rumor that if you look the Mayor in the eye, you’ll be turned to stone.  I can guarantee that upon looking at her, not a single part of your body will start to harden.  To continue:

they mean “testing”, but we’ve been down this road before.  Try saying “Tesco’s trialling trollies” six times in a row after a couple cocktails, I dare ya.

thus completely ignoring anyone who did anything actually, you know, athletic over the past year.  Like anyone gives a flying fuck what Sports Illustrated thinks or does anyway.

I know where it is:  it’s been smuggled into China.  Prove me wrong.

and never an errant daisycutter bomb when you need oneYou’d think the Russkis would have been all over this target of opportunity, but noooo.

And if you think out TV is bad in the U.S., try the U.K.:

Here’s something from our TV to cheer you up (no, it’s not “The Hanging Of George Soros”  on Bravo, sorry):

Her name is Bárbara Bermudo and yes, she’s on that Mex channel, Univision.

I’m trying to be “inclusive”, here.


  1. Never understood the fawning over Dylan. I think of him as that generation’s Springsteen – another poser who can’t sing. Some of his lyrics are marginally clever; Springsteen makes him look like Shakespeare. Which is like comparing bloody diarrhea to a nice firm steaming turd.

    1. I gather Stevie Nicks also recently cashed out her catalog for $100 million. She’s 72 now, I think, gotta get it while you can.

      1. Lindsay Buckingham’s lockdown partner back in the day. He coulda done worse, fo sho.

    2. My tolerance for Dylan shot up when I learned that he came to LOATHE the hippies who worshipped h8m, and wrote an album intended to turn them off (and get them the hell off his front porch). Never took to his voice, but I listen to late AC/DC so I figure I have no room to disparage.

      1. Somewhat the same reaction when I read that John Lennon wrote I Am The Walrus in a fit of irritation upon hearing that schoolteachers were pummeling their students with the Deep Inner Meanings of Beatles lyrics. He wanted to grab them by the lapels & shout that their songs were mostly about getting laid. So he tried to write the most disjointed meaningless bullshit he could come up with.

        1. I remember seeing Arlo Guthrie explaining that he wrote “the Motorcycle Song” about how he went for a ride one day and ended up in a ditch with a broken arm.
          He went on to say that there were college courses on the “deep meaning” of the song and that was what was wrong about the world today.

      2. Re: AC/DC… I was on the air in radio for a long time. At my 1st gig, the control room & production room were directly across from one another, separated by a paper thin wall. We had this horrendous noon news block that included an obituary segment. The obits were preceded by a pre-produced intro, then I’d crack the mic & tell you about the departed.

        Another jock was in the production room making a copy of his Highway To Hell album. The instant I opened the mic to read the obits, he cranked the production room monitor and blasted the hook: HIIIGHWAAYYY TO HELLL!!!

        I couldn’t have spliced it any tighter. It was glorious.

    3. Dylan and Springsteen are only 7 years apart, both are from the same generation. I agree, both suck bags and bags of dicks.

  2. The picture of Deputies Big Mac and Double Bacon Burger made me laugh out loud but unfortunately, there are far too many commies in our own country who are envious of the Gargoyle’s power and would love to send armed thugs to jail dissident conservatives and gun owners.

    Bob Dylan? That mush mouthed drug abuser is still alive? I saw him on TV speaking at the Grammy’s and he was a mush mouthed drunkard on stage. Never cared for many of his songs and his signing is terrible. Talk about over rated.

    Sports Illustrated, get woke, go broke. I don’t think I have given a second glance to that rag since the late 80s.

    Mayor Beetlejuice can take Pritizker and march straight off to hell. you’re right, she’s not turning anything hard other than try ing to live in ChIraq.

    Banning Christmas trees? haven’t had one for years. But I just might get a small one this year to piss off the enviromental Water Melons (green environmentalist on the outside, red commie on the inside).

    yep, the money went to China. I wouldn’t doubt it. If that’s wrong, then I’m sure the money went to some other evil recipient.

    Why did Ihave to take French in high school? I suppose I could watch Univision on mute.


  3. If anybody has a couple-three spare nickels, I would sell the entire barbra ‘can you hear me’ streisand song catalog.
    I could toss in leonard ‘takes you down’ cohen, carole ‘got a friend’ king, billy ‘uptown’ joel, shel ‘uncle’ silverstein, and neil ‘store-front woman’ diamond for nothing.

    [shudders in revulsion]

  4. Sport Illustrated:

    I vaguely remember something about a male homosexual ‘impersonator’ prancing about in a female swimsuit.
    Was a mohammadan female involved?

    [shudders in revultion more]

    I vaguely recall somebody in the barber-shop pulling my Sharpie© from my fanny-pack med-kit to correct those photographs by drawing mustaches on the ‘models’…

  5. My best guess would be, the missing 50 billions are replenishing the George Soros Political Victory Fund.

  6. Is it just me, or do any of you-all think Lori Lightfoot looks like she might well be one of the Deep One / Human hybrids Lovecraft wrote of in ‘Shadow Over Innesmouth’?

      1. Lovecraft was a powerful storyteller, not so great a writer. His vision of a horribly uncaring universe full of things beyond understanding is at the roots of a lot of great horror fiction, if you like that sort of thing.

        He’s hardly the only writers whose creations are better than his writing. Edgar Rice Burroughs prose is pretty goddamned turgid, but Tarzan remains an icon.

    1. I applaud brave (and obviously rich) news photogs for taking the risk of ruin in clicking away at Lori – she must sell a lot of replacement lenses.

      1. Truly an ostentatiously ugly person. Hell, her face looks like it was placed an inch or two too low on her head. Then there are the bug eyes, and that fishy mouth. I can’t see the Gill-slits, but you know they’re there.

        Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

  7. $300,000,000 / 600 songs – do the math folks. As Kim said, who cares, but pretty sure I would have sold, too.

  8. I’m the same about Dylan. Meh, he’s not all that great. I think the same about the Beatles. It might be because I grew up in the sixties and came of age in the seventies. I suffered from Dylan/Beatles fatigue. Then again, free American citizens are allowed to have different tastes than mine.

  9. It’s a pity that the French kept track of a dead terrorist’s body better than the Brits kept track of that £50 billion in bank notes. Where’s the French Underground when you need someone to switch the shipping labels between a coffin going to Chechnya and a pig carcass going to Marseilles?

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