Over at Knuckledragger, Kenny tells a couple of funny stories about HR lectures. Seriously; go read them first, and when you’re done laughing, come on back.
Back when I was working in Corporate World, a couple of the wimmins complained about sexual harassment, but the men accused strenuously denied any such wrongdoing. So to show that they were Doing Something, Management arranged for an outside consultant (impartiality, you see) to come and lecture us about the Evils Of Harassment.
All went well until one of the guys (Charlie) stood up and asked permission to speak. When given this, he asked the speaker, “You mean that this is not allowed?”, turned and scanned the room, then called up one of the women (Kimberley) to come to the front of the room with him.
At this point, we all started to shake with suppressed laughter, because Kimberley was an absolute riot — perpetually hung over, always the first with the dirty jokes, and Monday-morning stories about her sex life that would have made Marilyn Chambers blush.
“So,” Charlie asked the consultant, “Would you say this was inappropriate?” and he stroked Kimberley’s ass.
“Yes, of course.”
“How about this?” and he grabbed Kimberley’s boob.
“Absolutely — ”
“But what about this?” Kimberley interrupted, and pulled Charlie into her arms for a kiss that would have given a statue a wet-towel woody.
By this time, of course, we were all howling, as much at their display as at the look on the consultant’s face.
When the demented couple finally disengaged, Kimberley said, “Well, if kissing my husband will get me fired, then I’m outta here.”
Nothing the consultant said after that was taken seriously, and the couple got a semi-serious bollocking from management for making fun of the whole thing. Oh, and shortly after that the three feministicals who’d complained about harassment all quit in a huff, to the relief of everyone (including management).
But these were the Good Old Days, back when people still had a sense of humor. Nowadays, the Robespierres in Human Resources would have the couple fired, and management would acquiesce, the fucking cowards, despite the fact that Charlie was the company’s best salesman, and his wife the second-best programmer.