1. After high school Leroy had the choice of four years in the Marine Corps or a lifetime with Vera in the trailer park. Semper Fi. He chose wisely.

  2. Good Ole Billie Lou Sue, one of the first topless bar maids in Amarillo, never on the payroll and just worked for tips and noted for her ability to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

  3. I got nuthin’, but I am reminded of the Robert Earl Keen aside that he “hadn’t had a Schlitz beer since since elementary school.” That, and I think the car is a Pontiac.

  4. Due to fashion in the 70’s and 80’s, America’s vast herds of wild AquaNet were hunted almost to extinction. Today, finding an AquaNet in the wild is rare, and the only place to obtain AquaNet these days is in National Parks or private herds owned by women like Lorraine, pictured above.

  5. If you think the bouffant on top is bad, you should see the bulge in front.

    Thank you and don’t forget to tip your waitress.

  6. “WHY did you take mah pitchur? You didn’t even give me a chance to fix mah hair!”

  7. Hillary C., seen here in her ‘Corona’ persona, is structurally and gravitationally incongruent with all known forms of reality.

  8. Hillary C, known to her legions of adoring fans as ‘Big 88’, leads the group in a rousing rendition of ‘The Bigger The Hair, The Closer To Heaven’ at their weekly ‘Corona’ party.

    1. …at their weekly ‘Corona’ celebration!
      …at their weekly ‘Corona’ whiz-bang!
      …at their weekly ‘Corona’ festival!
      …at their weekly ‘Corona’ devotionals!
      …at their weekly ‘Corona’ unmaskings and pot-latch!

  9. Prepping to survive the April 12th asteroid attack, Hillary C. convinces her legions of adoring fans to ‘cluster’ beneath her Shield Of Impenetrability.
    Officials high in the government are reportedly moving to join TheLastBestHopeForHumanity.
    Oddly, Hillary C. offers no explanation for her choice of tint, although alert rumormongers speculate it may be a simple case of ‘Beacon syndrome’, a well-known condition affecting those-in-the-know.

  10. I can imagine Hillary C. woke-up this morning and wondered:
    I have a Red car.
    Red house.
    Red trousers.
    I wonder what else…”
    [ snaps fingers in certainty ]

  11. Prior to the scamdemic, depressingly, Hillary C. was ridiculed for her flat hair.
    Then… a temporary temperature spike and one cough from deep in her lungs… and presto!
    Another successful success story from the Corona Chronicles!

  12. Are you and your loved ones out of toilet paper?
    Use the tried-and-true Hillary C. method for cleansing your delicate bits… a garden-hose bidet!
    ( caution — to avoid the ‘Hillary C. effect’, half-turn only )

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