News Roundup

Coronavirus coronavirus coronavirus coronavirus… doesn’t anyone have a juicy sex scandal to report anymore?

oh dear god, if anything makes me want to catch the virus and die, it’s a nude Madonna pic.

that would be Tylenol (acetaminophen) to us Murkins.  Looks like that 300-tab bottle from Sam’s Club wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

always the tough choices:  beer or sanitizer.  I know which one I’d choose.

after all those Epstein memes, the Clinton gang gets creative.

there being no ice floes in the Mediterranean to put the old people onto.

EVERYBODY PANIC!!!  You mean you don’t have a SHTF porno stash?

okay, that made me LOL.  Am I a bad person?

Charles Darwin, call your office.


  1. ibuprofen isn’t paracetamol…

    Paracetamol is acetaminophen i think
    Ibuprofen is advil over there (again, i think)

    Ibuprofen is the one that *may* increase the effects of Covid19, hence the rush for paracetamol

    1. Fixed, thankee.
      Ibuprofen is called Brufen in the UK, or it was when I was Over There a couple years back.

      1. Brufen is just a brand, like Nurofen. Most people will buy the generic one now, at ~30p for 16. The branded ones’ll be about £3 for 16.

  2. I once got some hand sanitizer in my mouth and spit and gagged for a week. However given the quality of Anheuser Bush ‘s product line the hand sanitizer might be a better drink than Budweiser.

  3. Madonna is only five years older than I am, but even as a young man I wouldn’t have touched her with someone else’s ten-foot-pole. Damn, talk about a skank. I’ve no desire to have a disease named after me.

    It would only be a choice between hand sanitizer and beer if A-B MADE beer.

    Weren’t the Muzzies in Iran going around licking things to prove their faith too? And aren’t they digging mass graves there too?

  4. Madonna comments:
    Who on this planet, no matter how fevered or diseased they might be, gives a flying ratz azz about anything Granny Madonna might have to say?

    And, see what happens when hairdressers and beauty shops are declared “non-essential” in times of crisis? Doesn’t she have one of those pink p*ssy hats to hide those roots under?

      1. My Mama would wash my mouth out with soap, but then, she passed in ’79, so maybe I can get away with it. Pussy it is!

        1. Umm…your Mama would have washed your HANDS for TYPING pussy, at least in a non-feline context.

          Which would be fine, because in the era of the Wuhan Virus you NEED to be washing your hands.

  5. “Religious group who claim they are immune to coronavirus flout social distancing rules”

    At last! Now the snake-handlers have someone to point and laugh at.

  6. The material those masks are made from was the result of a failed attempt to develop a new bra material. This has come full circle.

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