I am completely hostile towards people who seem to be unable to get on an airliner without either being drunk, or getting drunk on the flight, and causing trouble either way.  As with all things, as long as drunk people are quiet and keep their shit together, who cares?  But then you get this kind of situation:

As Kenny would say at Knuckledraggin:  straight up White trash, God bless ’em.

I can see the day coming when all flights are booze-free, and passengers suspected of being drunk (think:  breathalyzers before boarding) will be denied their flight.  Or, this may only happen in shithole places like Manchester UK or Las Vegas NV, which is where most of these incidents seem to arise.

Look:  nobody enjoys a relaxing pint of gin more than I do, so I feel a little sorry for people such as Mr. Free Market, who routinely get completely whacked when flying — especially on the very long ones such as UK – Hong Kong or Australia – anywhere — because frankly, it’s probably the best remedy for boredom.  But people like him may have to have their fun curtailed by louts such as the above prize pair, because at some point, a drunken asshole is going to pop the cabin door at 30,000 feet, with predictable consequences.

I have to say, by the way, that I myself always travel sober for the simple reason that the normal dehydration of flying + the dehydrating effect of booze has only one result: 


…so a ban on booze wouldn’t affect me at all.

But it’s always the few idiots who fuck things up for the many, isn’t it?


  1. About 45 years ago I be working at a large international airport. We received a report that they had a problem on a flight from an adult resort in the caribean. . Late at nite the young crowd was throughly inebriated and horney. A bunch of them were butt naked and doing the nasty with multiple other passengers. Tanned , drunk and horney half the plane made the mile high club. The stewardesses had locked themselves in with the pilots. They refused to come out until we came on board and escorted them off. Lol

  2. There seems to be a definite correlation between airborne drunken/thuggish behaviour and cheap fares on “budget” airlines.

  3. “at some point, a drunken asshole is going to pop the cabin door at 30,000 feet”

    Isn’t that supposed to be impossible for regular airliners due to air pressure?

  4. Yes. Airliner doors are shaped like backwards Corks in a bottle . wider on the inside edge of the door. Higher air pressure in the cabin than outside basically seals the door shut. Pressure in the cabin is normally set for ~ 8,000 ft. anything below that and you can open the door. Above that, you can’t . So at airports above that like La Paz Bolivia they need to equalize the pressure on landing so the doors can be opened.

  5. Many, many years ago, my younger brother went on an end of season trip with his football team. The plan was to fly from Sydney to Perth, then change to an international flight to Bali. First flight to Perth Ok, but on arrival their connecting flight is delayed by several hours. So, what do twenty odd twenty year olds do? Head straight for the nearest bar at the airport and get stuck in. At some point, some bright spark has an idea. “How about as soon as the plane starts to taxi, we all hit the service button and order a drink?” The plan didn’t even get to the end of the runway, it just turned around and they kicked the whole team off the flight. End of trip. Now I don’t know how they did it, but from that point on, every time my brother got on a plane, if only one person got searched, it would always be him. This went on for years. Three of us would travel, two would get upgrades and my brother would be in his usual position at the back of the plane.

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