1) “Sobbing vegan, 23, breaks into a slaughterhouse and chains herself next to a calf for animal rights protest” — They should have spared the calf and slaughtered the vegan.
2) “Sex robots BACKLASH as brothel workers reveal fury over ‘dehumanising and dangerous’ droids” — wait a minute: prostitutes are accusing their competition as “dehumanising” ? We will now observe two minutes’ silence to mark the death of irony.
3) “Jane Fonda tells accused #MeToo harassers like Louis CK looking to make a comeback to ‘sweep the floor at Starbucks until you learn!’ ” — Tell you what, you rancid Commie traitor: you could sweep the floors at every Starbucks in the world, and we still wouldn’t forgive you for the Hanoi trip.
4) Britain’s armed forces are about to go tits-up — My favorite take out of this article is the description of an armored unit as “Operation Tethered Goat”. Actually, it’s a tragic story, so read it all. (In case anyone starts murmuring “Malvinas”, the only military in worse shape than Britain’s is Argentina’s.)
5) NYC Home Sellers Are Slashing Prices “Like It’s 2009” — so prices of NYFC residential real estate are now simply “exorbitant” as opposed to “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me”. My feelings on the matter:
…and finally, some happy news:
6) Oktoberfest has begun in Germanland — although my experience with Oktoberfest (in Munich, anyway) has been weak beer and raucous drunks, neither of which I can tolerate. There are a couple of compensations, though: