…and in a somewhat-related note to the above post:

I drive many women of my acquaintance insane with rage when I tell them that men look for only three things in a woman: Sex, Sandwiches and Silence. (Don’t chide me: enraging women is my sacred mission.)

But courtesy of Insty comes this stunning revelation from a woman who has achieved that most elusive of female goals: finding and keeping a decent man. And it’s so simple:

Food, clean clothes, tidy room, sex and a shoulder to lean on.  Yep, it’s really that simple.

There’s a lot more detail, of course, but her plan is brilliant. Needless to say, the feministicals are going to go batshit crazy about JudgyBitch’s advice. I don’t care. Because it’s true, and moreover, I bet her guy does just as much to look after her (“LOTS!”). This, however, is the clincher for me:

But we’re not talking about quid pro quo here. If your first instinct was to set up a mental balance sheet and make sure all of YOUR thoughtful actions are being returned in EXACT PROPORTION to your outlay, you might as well give up now. You don’t know shit about men, or relationships of any kind.

Exactly. Give this lady a 50th wedding anniversary. I hope she gets it. (And a quick note to Mr. JudgyBitch: fuck this one up, and you deserve daily ball-kickings for the rest of your life.)


  1. While my evidence is admittedly anecdotal, my observation is that successful marriages have two people with the attitude “It’s you and me against the world. Whatever life hands us, we’ll get thru it together.” They also understand that men and women are different, they accept (even, gasp, CELEBRATE) their differences, and understand that the two people may have differing roles to play in their marriage.

    I’ve gotten to the point (after almost 18 years of marriage) that I can usually tell whether my wife needs me to solve her problem or just listen to her, and if I get it wrong she tells me (that whole communication thing). Dave Barry said it right: “Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”

    1. I think you have the right of it, Mark.

      I would certainly give JB part marks, but if all ya want is a sammich, a clean house and silence… well, you can get that with a maid a lot cheaper than you can with a wife. I personally want more than that out of my marriage.

      1. What’s that saying about keeping a husband happy? Keep his stomach full and his b*lls empty…..

  2. Been married to three different women. 1 and 2 left because they wanted me to be “happy”. funny thing was I thought I was.

    #3 has been around for 32 years and I hope I get 32 more. I would be 94 at that point but at least I would die happy. Maybe content. You get the drift.

    She does a little more than the 3 s’s and that is OK. I even forgave her for liking Obama and not liking Trump. Have to work on what she does when I am not around. NPR has got to go.

    But men are simpler and if the woman figures that out she can have a pretty good run.

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