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Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Sliding Off
I think what I love the most about today’s political climate — other than the tsunamis of Liberal tears each day — is the fact that our governing class seems to be immune to childish insults. Here are a few such, of recent memory:
“Trump is an orange-skinned horror!”
His response: wear more fake tan than ever.
“Trump is like the Evil Emperor!” followed by a Photoshop:
Trump supporters: “What’s the last thing a useless federal bureaucrat sees before being tossed out of his office?”
And then there was that time when Rep. Jizzmine “Daisy” Crockett insulted Jim Abbott by calling the paraplegic Texas governor “Hot Wheels”, which led to this appearing on Twatter:
…which in turn resulted in well over a thousand twats asking where they could buy the toy, and a huge climb in his popularity rating in the polls.
Give it up, Lefties. Insults might have worked back in playground days, but we conservatives are largely immune to it now.
Feel free to share this with Pocahantas:
…and Smegel:
…and of course She Who Would Be President:
We’ll just laugh at you for your failed socialist ideas masquerading as a Nude Eel or something.
News Roundup
And we begin today’s Roundup with someone who really needs to rub one out:
...”stand up against”? We all voted for sick and cruel deportations, you dumb bint.
And another one who needs rubbing out, so to speak:
...nobody cares what you think, you degenerate, corrupt Commie fuck. You’re the American equivalent of Tony Blair: an unwanted has-been, all of whose destructive policies should long ago have been tossed into the gutter where they belonged.
And speaking of Obamas:
…
...because like Hillary Clinton, you only got your (undeserved) fame because you happened to marry someone who went on to become President. Otherwise, you’d still be an anonymous functionary in some Chicago hospital… maybe.
More candidates for the above treatment:
…
From the Department of Irony:
...they don’t hate the speech; genetically, they just have no sense of humor.
#AskRobinWilliams
Some Lawn Order News:
...so just harpoon the motherfucker. Sheesh, do I have to think of everything?
Update: they killed him anyway, with the needle, without any problems.
#JusticeIsDone
7,000-Year-Old Female Corpses Found In Remote Grave
...all clutching papyrus sheets bearing Epstein’s client list, no doubt.
From the Department of Education:
...now if he’d just bonked Mommy, there’d be nothing to report. Dumbass.
...and of course it’s all Hubbeeeee’s fault.
Hot off the #MeeeTwooo presses:
Helen Mirren: The James Bond Movies Are Sexist
...really? What was your first clue, Hel?
And as we plunge ever deeper into the waters of 
...not at all bad for 69 I mean 59 (although 69 would be nice too, if you get my drift):
And some others, just for kicks:
Quote Of The Day
From Reader Mike L., in response to this article‘s headline:
Toy prices in the US could increase by ‘high double digits’ because of tariffs on China | CNN Business
“Oh no! I can’t buy plastic toys with lead paint on them from China cheaply anymore??? Oh, the humanity!”
Not Already?
Yesterday saw our first of 90+ degree daytime highs. Ugh.
But for the benefit of the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© crowd, when I looked this phenomenon up, I noted that May 12 was the latest day in the past 43 years that the 90+ temperature arrived. Not that it matters too much. If the forecast for this week is to be believed, daytime highs will seldom reach the mid-80s, and drop into the high 70s by the coming weekend. Sunday, in other words, was something of an anomaly.
Welcome to a typical Texas spring, in other words.
Still, there is one benefit to our searing summer highs:
Oh yeah, baby… Daisy Dukes and skimpy lil’ tops, gawd love ’em.
Monday Funnies
So here we go with our weekly diary entry:
Let’s get down to the silly business, then.
And on the topic of surveys:
And on a sorta-related note, some other people’s sisters:
That’s enough of that. Now say good-bye and walk away…
