Excuse me for a minute… [Pavlovian response]
Now on with the news, starting with the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:
...yet another triumph of Biden’s immigration policy.
...not in Nashville.
...we need to see more of this, all over the world.
And onto the great Palestinian Fuckup Fallout:
...Hamas: continuing Obama’s legacy to the gun industry.
...the Izzies must be losing their touch.
...when asked to point out Israel on a map, the senator said: “Aarghlpaptmpofftry”.
And on to Sex News:
...and nobody saw this one coming. [eyecross]
...confirming once and for all that yes, Bill Clinton was definitely on Epstein’s Client List.
...I didn’t even know that women were in the fencing business. [sic]
In Pre-Election News:
...enough of that stuff, Donald: you already have my vote.
...no no, you lesbo freak, you’ve got it all wrong, as usual. Trump doesn’t want to execute you; but I could think of several others who might be tempted.
#Fifth Amendment #BuyMoreAmmo
And Great Moments In Parenting:
...I dunno; sounds quite reasonable.
Then there’s this:
...not ordering the execution of Simon Cowell for Crimes Against Music?
And now, in INSIGNIFICA:
...so much for that “working-class punk” thing.
...nah, just kidding. Here’s Liz Hurley:
A much better way to end the news, yes?