Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Not Interested

Entertainment

For some reason, this story made me feel good today:

RONNIE O’SULLIVAN says he is a ‘snooker fake’ who should not be playing.

The Rocket is bidding to extend his record of seven UK Championships after beating Matthew Stevens in round one yesterday.  But O’Sullivan, 47 next month, said: “I shouldn’t even be playing at my age.  I don’t take it too seriously.  I find it all quite funny really.  I have a bit of an impostor syndrome.  I felt happier when I had that run of losing five finals.  But when I started winning tournaments again I didn’t really feel I deserved it.  It felt like a plot to allow me to do it, and I felt like a fake.”

“When I won the worlds again in May I didn’t feel great about it. I am feeling flat to be honest with you and don’t want to play snooker at the moment. I don’t play much and really don’t care. I mainly keep coming because it’s something to do.”

Easy to say when you’re the greatest snooker player of all time.  But I love his honesty.

Here’s Ronnie not caring…  yeah, it’s four hours long, but then again, it’s absolutely incredible.  Watch it tonight, for a Friday Night Movie;  or you can watch the first 15 minutes for the opening frame, and then the last few frames.

Intolerable

Funny Stuff, Gratuitous Chick Pics

So there I was, all ready to defy that stupid restraining order (I mean, it’s been over ten years, come on) to go and see Nigella Lawson live in Dallas, when this happened:

Nigella Lawson shared an apology video to social media on Thursday after she was forced to cancel her scheduled live show, An Evening With Nigella Lawson, in Dallas.

The television chef and writer, 62, suffered airport woes as her flight to the U.S state was cancelled last minute, leaving her at the airport for five hours.

Personally, I blame the bloody airline involved (probably American, to judge from their “Fuck you so what?” response).

And to think that I was THISclose to being THISclose to Nigella…

I need Breakfast Gin II.

News Roundup

Bad News

Sponsored by:

 

And our news is also hard-hitting (okay, maybe not so much):


...that’s just great, Jeff.  Now advise me how to hold off on another “big purchase” like my glaucoma eyedrops, which went from about $200 to over $400 in just under two years.


...wait;  don’t we have the TSA checks which would stop this mope from getting not one but TWO boxcutters onto the flight?


...good.  I’m getting so sick of all the faggy families bullshit on TV.


...say, for example, by turning Indiana Jones into “Indianetta” Jones?  Oh, wait, this just in:


...to see the franchise nosedive like Chick Ghostbusters”, maybe?  But there’s always more Woke to be had in the Magic Kingdom:


...just another movie nobody will watch.


...his money, his prerogative to spend it as he chooses.  Then:


...and can anyone think of a more worthy recipient?


...and surprise, surprise:  not Florida Man — but “keyword:  Japan” would run a close second.


...thought about this for a while;  nope, still don’t see the problem here.


...good old Apple:  still expecting people to overpay for trendy rubbish.

And from the forgettable INSIGNIFICA:

   

Paige Three:

Finally, for tomorrow, a reminder:

News Roundup

Bad News

Sponsored by:

And on we go, with most news items in the same spirit as the ad.  It’s not all bad news though, for a change…


…


...should be at the head of the Needle Line.


...in other news, Monopoly Bank also robbed of play money.


...”Enjoy our Kristallnacht Special Bucket!!”  FFS.


...can’t wait to see how they’ll be welcomed when they land in Abu Dhabi or Riyadh.

And in the CLIMATE!CLIMATE!EVERYBODYPANIC!! Dept:


...errrr wasn’t it “Only five years!“, ten years ago?  

And the corollary:


...I love the smell of back-pedaling in the morning.


...RESIST!!  WOLVERINES!!

And in our Science Proves! section:


...keyword:  Iran.


...do we really need to know about this, FFS?


...awkward, maybe, but valid nevertheless once you see the pics.


...no shit.  But at least it’s a recession-proof living.

In the Education Dept:


...she’ll make up the lost income from her OnlyFans account, though and it’s not like any kids were involved.


...fucking hell, just go ahead and surrender already.

In the evermore-irrelevant INSIGNIFICA:

And in our Paige Three section, Paige supports another Instagram tottie, and she’s not bad, albeit somewhat under-endowed:

But The Real Paige still gets it going, sorry: